Love Letters #17

Patience is needed.

Waiting for you to connect.

One day it will end.

Read last entry in series here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2017/05/love-letters-15.html

Love Letters #16

"I think it's interesting how the heart knows when something is wrong. I recently had a boy share his feelings with me and told me that he loved me. And as I sat there feeling my heart pound, I could not extend the same sentiment nor utter the very words. My heart knew it was not right. And even when my mind has been confused, my heart knew. I loved someone else. I was reminded of what love is. It's a lot of different things, but to me it's genuine kindness. It's caring deeply for someone and putting their needs above yours. It's keeping them in your thoughts and thinking of what you can do to serve, love, and support them. My heart knows. And I trust it. So for now, I'll keep those three words to myself until my heart lets me use them for you."

Last entry: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/12/love-letters-15.html

Mama Rock

I believe that she and I chose each other to help each other through this life. It seems that as each year passes, my love for her seems to grow in many different aspects. She faithfully fulfills her role as a wife, mother, and grandmother. I admire her capacity to truly love God and Jesus Christ. She is accepting and loving. She has changed through the atonement of Jesus Christ and has come to know Him on a level that I also hope to reach. Her desire to become like Christ shows as she radiates the light of Christ!

I always admired how much my dad loves her. Dad always says that when he had his accident, mom was the only reason he chose to stay here on earth. Mom takes good care of Dad and she loves him. She accepts him as he is and she does what she can to serve him. They've been together for 42 years and while their marriage has never been perfect, they have pushed through. They've loved each other through all seasons of life.

I love you, mom. Thank you for loving and accepting me. Thank you for continuing to emulate the light of Christ through your testimony and countless examples. You are the rock in my life and my best friend. I so dearly love you, mom! Happy Mother's Day!

Mother Eve

My admiration for Eve rushed in when I went through the Temple for the first time back in 2015. I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude on a deeper level for her. Growing up, I had an understanding that Eve was duped into partaking of the fruit. The word "beguiled" seemed to give off that idea.

"Dr. Nehama Aschenasy, a Hebrew scholar, said that in Hebrew the word which is translated as beguiled in the Bible does not mean "tricked" or " deceived" as we commonly think. Rather, the Hebrew word is a rare verb that indicates an intense multilevel experience evoking great emotional, psychological, and/or spiritual trauma. As Aschenasy explained, it is likely that Eve's intense, multilevel experience, this " beguiling" by the serpent was the catalyst that caused Eve to ponder and evaluate what her role in tbe Garden really was." (The Gift of Giving Life: Re-discovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth, pgs.2-3)

I believe that Eve pondered and understood with so much depth her role in God's plan of happiness. She is the Mother of All Living! She was foreordained to fill that role and she fulfilled it with grace!

"In his vision of the redemption of the dead, President Joseph F. Smith saw the prophets assembled in paradise: "Among the great and almighty ones who were assembled in this vast congregation of the righteous were Father Adam, ...and our glorious Mother Eve, with many of her faithful daughters who had lived through the ages."

 I loved her role as Adams wife. She loved him deeply and covenanted that she would stand by his side. She was a strength to him. I can only imagine how deeply Adam loved and trusted her as he also chose to partake of the fruit. Together they covenanted with God and through the storms of life, they prevailed. This beautiful, woman of God fulfilled God's will for her and I wish to emulate her example. I just love her!

Piece of MY Heart

I'm learning to give a little bit of my heart away. I'm focusing on the strengths of others and choosing to see their higher self. I'm complimenting others and letting them know how great they are and how loved they are. I don't hold back and I don't worry about my heart running out. I am whole and there is always enough love to be given out. It never runs out.

To you reading this, here's my message to you: YOU are divinely good. YOU  are strong and loved far beyond your comprehension. YOU are of divine worth, because YOU are a son/daughter of God. He deeply loves YOU and oh how I wish YOU could fully taste His love. He supports YOU and blesses YOU, because He loves you. I believe that God has a plan for only YOU. YOU can do hard things. YOU can change. YOU radiate the light of Christ, even when you may feel like you don't. I love YOU.

Eyes That See

Whether in passing or in conversation, I choose to look at you with eyes that see. I'll look at you with wholeness. Like Heavenly Father and Mother do. I'll admire your heavenly glow and the light that shines in your eyes. I'll remind myself over and over that you are a child of God.I'll pray for you and ask God to watch over you. I'll tell you I love you. Why? Because you are a whole, during all seasons of your life. I'll always choose to look at your higher self, because you are a child of God. You are divine. You are worthy of love and all that God has to offer. I choose to cheer you on, because you and I chose to come here for the same reason. I'll support you. You are whole through and through.

Love Letters #15

"Today's #LIGHTtheWORLD is about showing compassion and it got me thinking about raw emotion. Something that I've become more familiar with as I go through this life. I think one of the most satisfying and fulfilling moments you can have with someone is showing love on a raw, emotional level. And while you may not fully understand how the other person feels, you feel with them as best as you can.

I was once talking with a friend about marriage and the type of man that I wanted to marry. I think my list has evolved from a long complicated and unrealistic list to a very short, simple one.

• A man who honors and respects his Priesthood.
• Sense of humor
• Kind, thoughtful, and caring
• Emotionally intelligent supportive

That last one doesn't mean anything big. I don't want a psychiatrist or counselor. It just means one who will show compassion during those times when others are having a very human moment. Often times, it's easy to feel uncomfortable during those moments when others are being vulnerable. I know, I've been there on both sides! Or there will be times when we just brush it off and tell someone it's going to be fine without really hearing them. I just want someone who will love deeply during those raw moments. I feel those moments and I don't need you to fix it. I just want you to love me through it and to show kindness and patience. 

That's how Jesus Christ is, especially during His life here. He comforted so many who suffered their own raw pain. He loved them through it. He does that with us now. His love and mercy is always there for us. Christ-like love encompasses compassion, mercy, love, and charity. It is the very healing balm that can soothe any weathered heart. 

I really want that for our marriage. I want to emulate Christ-like love to you. I may not perfectly understand everything, but that's fine. That's what Jesus Christ does. But I can love you through it. I can be patient with you and hold your hand. We weren't meant to be alone. We were meant to love and serve each other during all seasons of life. 

I'm not asking for perfection. I'm just asking for compassion."

Read last entry here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/12/love-letters-14.html

Love Letters #13

"I think one aspect of love that I've found to be so enveloping, is the fact that it's simple. I feel like the worlds idea of love is to be this fairy tale perfection blown out of proportion. I think there should be simplicity in love. It's meaningful. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It's finding simple ways to say and show your love for the other. It's letting them know that they matter to you. I don't know. I just like this idea of keeping love simple."

Love Letters #12

"I've been refined so much the past two months and I feel so good. It's been hard, but gosh, it has been so good! I feel like I'm becoming more true to myself. I'm accepting myself and that's something I've always struggled to do. My relationship with God has been getting stronger through this journey and I love Him so! I know He has a lot in store for us, so I make sure I pray for you on the daily. Sounds cheesy, but I ain't playin'! I pray that your relationship with God is being strengthened. I pray that your heart and mind are open to Him. I pray that you are also being refined. I pray that you feel constantly feel loved. I pray that you are doing the Lord's will. If we're going to do the Lord's will, I know that we both need to be refined individually and love God more than anything! I'm convinced we're becoming the dream team! That's cool." 

Read the last entry in this series: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/09/love-letters-11.html

Becoming (Part Seven)

Coming clean with myself has been one of the most empowering things I've ever done. Allowing myself to heal and cleansing myself off all the junk that has been holding me back. Consistent mediation, prayer, and scripture study has been my staple. I'm becoming a better woman. I'm spiritually empowered, emotionally stable,  and mentally healthy. I can feel warmth. I can see the goodness of God in the details of my life. It's a process and it's working. I'm becoming my best self. I'm becoming in touch with my higher self. I'm filling myself with good things and that has helped me stay focused. In order to fulfill God's will, I needed to cleanse my inner vessel. It's worth it. God's love and goodness flows through me more and more.

I'm becoming and it's beautiful. I am beautiful.

 [PC: Sadie Banks Photography]

Read last entry in this series: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/08/becoming-part-six.html

Women Need Women

I have a special privilege to associate myself with some wonderful women each week. The Spirit is so strong. I look at these women and have so much love for them. Being able to be in their presence has been something I've needed. I've gotten to know them on such an intimate level. They're strong and beautiful.

I truly believe that women need women! We understand each other in ways that men don't. We feel for each other in ways that men don't. (I'm grateful that men balance us out though!) Perhaps that's why we have Relief Society. So that women can come together to love and strengthen each other. 

Relief Society isn't the only place though where women can bond. Even associating with my roommates has been a joy. Gosh, I love them. We all get along so well and it's been so good for my soul to laugh. (And be weird!)

I love when my very best girl friends and I get together. We can have serious conversations while still adding humor to balance it out. We laugh and laugh and laugh. It thoroughly rejuvenates my soul and my canteen is literally brimming with goodness. I feel like my best self. I feel loved. I feel safe and secure.

There's beauty in being a woman of God. Can you imagine if each of us came together in unity and love? The things we could accomplish and the amount of love that could be felt!
Women need women. We just do.

“We are all in this together. We need each other. Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young, and hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old...We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other. These friendships are a necessary source of sustenance. We need to renew our faith every day. We need to lock arms and help build the kingdom so that it will roll forth and fill the whole earth.” ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Love Letters #11

"I knew when I was ready that I would begin to feel a shift. I wasn't picturing a big wave of emotion, just a calmness. A nice push in the right direction and here I am. Cleansing my inner vessel day by day. Loving myself more and of course loving God more. Being more obedient to Him. All of this, because I love you. Praying for you that your heart and mind will be open to God. Pushing forward, even when doubt and past pain beg me to stop. The peace is so empowering. I'm ready to open my up my heart again. Regardless of what may come, I am ready to open it up. A little at a time, of course. This shift inside me gives me all the feels, but joy tops them all. I can breathe better."

Read last entry here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/08/love-letters-10.html

Heart & Mind

Whew. Being sick has opened a lot of time to think. And I mean not even an escape to Stars Hallow or Green Gables could distract me. I've been praying for an open heart and mind for a while now. Meditation has been my key to that door. Ridding myself of my frail natural tendencies and imprinting self-love and peace. I feel more connected with my God. I feel more connected with higher self. It has calmed me during times where anxiety would storm.

Personal Revelation has been flowing so sweetly and flawlessly. It's been intense, but gosh, so wonderful! Having a glimpse of where I need to be and adjusting my course to follow suit has been so much easier. I truly believe that God's plan is perfectly set before us.

My mind will storm at times and I can feel my heart working double time to calm my mind. The heart knows best, because it feels peace. My mind constantly asks, "What if I'm wrong?" My heart will say, "God has it figured out. Let's keep trusting Him and His peace." My mind calms down and then the two are unified. More personal revelations flows and I feel more enlightened.

Truth is fortifying. The more we seek for truth, the more enlightened we become. My desire for truth has slowly been satisfying and fulfilling. When my my heart and mind are open and connected, I find myself strengthened in many ways. I feel steady on my path even though I cannot see it at times.

It's not the worst. All good things.

Love Letters #10

"I thought of you today as I sat on the bench at the Temple . I didn't have time to go in, because the doors were closed, but I sat on the bench facing the Temple and watched the cute elderly couples. I love seeing old couples walking out of the Temple and holding hands. I hope we're like that. I hope we are frequent Temple goers and have no shame in showing the world our sweet love. (Obviously within reason, because you know how I feel about PDA.) I don't know what lies ahead for us in 50 years, but as long as we are covenant keeping lovers, I think we'll be fine."

Read last entry here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/07/love-letters-9.html

Plain and Precious Truths #6

"Behold, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou art an elect lady, whom I have called."

"Murmur not because of the things which thou has not see, for they are withheld from thee and from the world, which is wisdom in me in a time to come." 

"And the office of thy calling shall be for a comfort unto my servant, Joseph Smith, Jun., thy husband, in his afflictions, with consoling words, in the spirit of meekness."  

-D&C 25 3-5

Emma Smith is one of the women that I look up to. She's a strong woman who endured through much pain and affliction. I can't imagine being in her shoes and having to carry the burdens that she had. I love this chapter in Doctrine and Covenants, because it was revelation specifically for her. I had a tender moment as I read this chapter, because it I could feel the love that God had specifically for her. God saw her as His precious daughter. Amongst all the pain she went through, God was with her.

I absolutely adored that she was called to be a comfort to her husband. Seriously, relationship goals right there. More than anything, I desire to be there for my (future) husband to love and support him. Emma was a solid example of that as she supported Joseph Smith through such horrendous times. I believe Emma is an example of continuing to follow the Lord, even through so much heartache. She truly is an elect lady and one that I admire so deeply.

Read the last entry of the series here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/07/plain-and-precious-truths-5.html

Here's a beautiful song about Emma Smith sung by Katherine Nelson.

Never had an ordinary day,

never lived your life in an ordinary way.

For everything  you loved, you paid a price,

But you couldn't let the world see your cry.

Never had a moment of peace,

never felt the sunlight, when your worries set you free.

Every time your life turned a page,

it seemed like your heart might break.

Chorus:

With the world on your shoulders, when the nights had grown colder,

you seemed to weather every storm with a Queen's grace.

And when you lost your husband, when you buried your children,

I'm sure the angels stood in reverence as your prayed.

How much can one heart take?

How much can one heart take?

Never had a day to call your own.

when so many needed your warm heart as a home.

 Whispering a mother's lullaby, as you sat alone by the fire.

Chorus x 2

I'm sure you heart breaks, when some people still say

somewhere down the line you lost your faith.

How much can one heart take?

How much one heart take?

Love Thyself

I'm learning and re-learning and re-learning self-love and confidence. I've been feeling so very out of place lately. I wrote about last week how I had a day from h-e-double hockey sticks. It wasn't the worst day, just a day that I'd really like to not think about ever. again.

I truly believe that the way you think about yourself will affect how you act and what your doing. Realizing that I feel self-conscious and stupid at work is really coming out. This is a huge part of why I'm trying to change the way that I think of myself.

I have been doing everything from prayer to meditation to essential oils. Daily affirmations are happening. Daily pep talks. Daily prayers. I'm writing out my feelings in my journal and getting it all out of my system. I'm trying to strengthen my relationship with my Savior, because He truly gets it. God and I have been chattin' it up and He gets an earful of everything.

 Things will work. I am smart. I am human. I can do hard things. God didn't send me here to fail. It's not the worst. All good things.

Because I'm a foodie...

I take a lot of pictures of food, because duh! I love food. I like to look at food. I like to cook. I like to bake. I LOVE to eat. Sometimes I have cooking mishaps. Like last week. When I thought my food processor would work. It doesn't. And my BlendTec wasn't doing what I wanted it to do. So...great. Most times my food turns out spectacular. Here are some pictures for you eyes to feast on. <<See what I did there?

I love fresh lemons! Lately I've been slicing lemons and freezing them to put in my water bottle. Not only do they act as ice, but they also add fresh lemon flavor to it.

I've been lovin' bell peppers lately. I put them in everything. Quesadillas, salads, rice, pasta...

I love, love, LOVE, taco salad. This salad is meat-less, but I love the flavors of different veggies, black beans, and cilantro mixed together! Cilantro is my love. I love to add it to everything, because it really just adds freshness and flavor to any dish.

On the rare occasions that I make tacos, I always enjoy it. I love everything that goes into a taco. This day I made lime chicken tacos. Most times I go meat-less and add rice or more beans with lime to it. It's delicious either way!

I wanted a quick sweet snack, so I whipped up these babies. I cut an English muffin in half. Added a layer of peanut butter. Sliced up an apple and assembled it on top and added a dash of cinnamon sugar to it. I baked it at 350 degress unti lightly toasted. Seriously this was amazing!

Obviously saved the best for last. I made homemade enchiladas. Seriously, this should be more of a staple than it already is. I topped it off with fresh cilantro, sour cream, and guacamole. It was a huge hit! It's dishes like this that confirm that my future family won't starve! I'll be making these soon and posting a recipe here next week so stay tuned! :)

Plain and Precious Truths #5

"O how marvelous are the works of the Lord, and how long doth he suffer with his people." -Mosiah 8:20

These sweet words brought so much peace into my heart. We don't nor have we ever suffered alone. Even when we often feel that, we truly never were or are alone. I testify to you that your God and Savior, Jesus Christ know you. They love you. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ, no one suffers alone. Ever. Christ knows you. He understands you. His love for you is priceless. "Oh sweet the joy." You are not alone, my dear friends. You are not alone.

Last entry: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/06/plain-precious-truths-4.html