He's got MY back!

Holy cow! God has been sooooooo good to me this week! Things were falling apart and problems kept arising. And yet, God made it so everything worked out perfectly in His timing. I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude, because I felt so undeserving of His goodness. But you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God loves you NOW! And He wants to bless you, because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know how this week was going to pan out. But I knew that if I gave my life to Him, He would make everything work out perfectly! I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to, but I had opportunities to serve. And also, if you ask God to send you people to serve, He will! For me, I gave my time to the Lord. I spent time in the Temple and endured two hours of hunger. But my spiritual hunger was satisfied and fulfilled. I gave my time by spending time with people who needed a friend and listening ear. I don't even see it as a sacrifice, rather I am grateful that I choose to put God first. God only will I serve! Even when sometimes it may be hard. But this week, I proved to myself that if I put Him first and trust Him to take care of everything else, He will! And He did this week!

Give God a chance. I just really love my God! You readers who have been reading my blog for years, know that I love my God more than anything! He is everything to me!

Happy June, my darlings! It's birthday month and I've got some great posts for you this month!

Heat Wave 2K17

It's hot. Maintenance said they're waiting for parts to fix it. If it's going to be this hot in my apartment, can it at least make me (more) tan?

Jokes! I've been telling myself not to be upset about it, rather to just laugh it off. So I'm sitting here with a cold wash cloth on the back of my neck and a fan blowing on me. I also have those ice packets you put in your lunch to keep cold IN my bed. Yes.

It's not the worst.

He is First

Personal Credence: I firmly (and I mean firmly) believe that God should be first in your life.

I'd say that my relationship with God has strengthened in the past five years. I remember the first time I sincerely went to the Lord via prayer. I was sitting in my car after an upsetting conversation with my mom. I felt lost. My best friend at the time had left for her mission. She and I had pretty much been inseparable, so you can imagine that separation anxiety was a real thing. I felt out of place in my family. I felt empty and worthless. So I prayed cried sobbed out loud to God the one thing I could muster:

Please help me.

Growing up, I knew there was a God, but it was until this moment that I experienced His reality so deeply. I felt peace come over me. I knew He was aware of me. Since then and through a journey of (mostly) trials, I have come to rely so deeply on my God. He is first and will always be first in my life. In the darkest moments, I have held on to only Him. I've felt lonely, but have always known that I was never alone. He promised me that I would never be alone and He has kept that promise.

This year in particular has been a whirlwind of both good and trying times. Gosh, the beginning of the year was just so awful! I've hit some low points, but this years low point was just- well you know, awful! I was angry at my situation, but NEVER was I ever angry with God. I couldn't be mad at Him. To this day, I can't ever be mad at Him. Knowing God, I just can't bring myself to be angry with Him. Really, all I could do was pray and let the chips fall where they may.

Here I am in October 2016 and we have been closer now more than we ever have been. The other day, I realized the true strength of our relationship through one of the most sacred Priesthood blessings I've ever had. In the past six months, I have stayed awake through the night to converse with Him. Funny to think that the dark, quiet night is the time I feel so much light and love. I have been pouring out my raw heart to Him and He listens to me. Personal revelation has been flowing more than it ever has. I'm slowly learning how our communication works and let me tell you, it's working beautifully!

He's my God. I am His and He is mine. Words could never eloquently express my deep love for Him. I know He knows me so deeply and intimately. I want to know Him so deeply and intimately too. We're working on it together. He knows me better than I know myself. He sees me as the divine Queen that I am and reminds me of my divinity all the time. He's my Father. My Father. He makes up the difference where others lack. He listens to my endless rants, frustrations, cries- whatever! He wants me to talk to Him. No judgement. Just love.

There's absolutely no way that I could (would) ever deny Him. He is real. He is very real to me and I feel His love for me every single day! Not a day goes by that I don't see His hand in my life. I've been praising Him more each day. I've been expressing my gratitude to Him more each day. I've been asking Him for forgiveness and strength to be better more each day. I rely so heavily on Him. And it's so easy for me, because I love Him!

When He calls, I always come. Is it easy? Not always. Sometimes I'm hesitant. But I always come to Him, because I love Him. I love Him more than anything and anyone. I love Him more than I love myself. My desire to do His will has only been growing. It's not easy. But He's worth it, so I trust Him. His love is fulfilling and the light that it brings into my life is everything I need.

He is First. He is always first.

Little Miracles

I lost my apartment key yesterday. I spent several hours searching for this key. I tore apart my room and put it back together. It was so organized and clean that there was literally no way that it could be in my room. However, I had this feeling that everything would be okay and I would find that key. I didn't know when they key would be found, but I knew that it would be. I prayed to the Lord with gratitude for this opportunity to exercise my faith in Him. I let Him know that I accepted the fact that it was gone and that I might not find it. When it came to leave my apartment, I found a way to lock the door using a plastic bag. I felt discouraged that I couldn't find the key, but I still had faith in God.

You probably already figured out the rest of the story, so I'll just say that the key magically appeared on the floor at work. It must have been attached to part of my costume that I wasn't wearing. The funny thing is, I had looked at my costume over and over to know for sure that there was no key attached to it. But there the key was. Right there on the floor.

I know that God was testing me. I'm so grateful that He did, because it gave me the opportunity to really see where my faith was. I chose to put my faith and trust in Him. I kept letting Him know that if it be His will, the key would show up. Yes, I felt discouraged, but I still knew and felt strongly that God would provide and He did.

I love my God. I praise Him for His goodness and mercy towards me over something so small. It's these little moments that have built my relationship with Him to be so strong. He's the first source that I always go to.  I just love Him. He is always first and I know that He looks out for me.

All good things!

Free-write: Women's Conference

My spiritual canteen is already brimming and I have so many thoughts. A free-write if you will.

LDS General Conference has officially begun! Women's conference was absolutely stellar! I did my daily meditation beforehand, so that I could have a clear mind and heart. This conference is different for me because I actually have questions. It's so important for me to have my mind and heart in the right place, because I desire personal revelation.

It began with a bang! I only had one burning question for this session and Sister Jean B. Bingham answered that in the first two minutes! She spoke of using the light of the gospel to see others clearly. During my healing process (which you can read here and here.), it has been absolutely vital for me to see my higher self. Keeping my covenants and doing what I should be doing has been the solution. Because I've been doing this consistently, I have found that I haven't been shaming myself as often. I view myself differently. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to do my best. I prayed beforehand for ways to see others differently. What was the solution to that? Charity.

"And no one can assist in this work except he shall be humble and full of love, having faith, hope, and charity, being temperate in all things, whatsoever shall be entrusted to his care." -D&C 12:8

 Can you imagine how differently this world would be if we all had charity? It's the pure love of Christ! That's powerful! If we spoke more positively about each other and encouraged each other, I believe people would react differently. Life is hard. At the very least, we can share Christ-like love to each other. We all came here for the same purpose. It's not a race to the finish line.

Sister Bingham went on to talk about one of my very favorite things. Progression. The beauty and reality of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that anyone can improve. It's through the atonement of Jesus Christ that makes change possible. I love this truth so much, because it gives me hope. We're all trying to do our best in this life. And gosh! This life can just really suck sometimes! We're all humans having our own human experience. We struggle. We make mistakes. We're not perfect. BUT. We can consistently try to improve every single day, multiple times a day! I've personally found that God cares more that I'm sincerely trying to be better. There really can be sweetness during the bitterness of life! We were not sent here to fail! We have each other! We can embrace improvement in each other! We can love and support each other.. If we have charity, we're more kind, patient, humble, and seek the good in others. Sister Bingham encouraged us to commit to work together and to embrace the beauty in each other.

Sister Carole M. Stephens really hit it on the nail and talked about the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. She urged all of us to recommit ourselves to the Savior. No more hiding. No more covering our sins. No more feeling alone. Her call to repentance and commitment to God and our covenants, was so moving to me. She had such tenderness in her voice as she spoke of the atonement of Jesus Christ. She recited the sweet words that Jesus Christ spoke to the Americas:

"Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?" -3 Nephi 9:13

I've always loved this verse, because here's Jesus Christ extending an invitation for healing. And every time I read this verse, I can't help but feel the ache of His plea. He wants to heal us. He will meet us where we are and gently holds our hand through the chaos of life. You don't have to carry your burden alone. You don't have to suffer alone. You are not alone!

I've written before about how I am still finding my Savior here. The past few weeks, I've been able to find Him more. Cleansing my inner vessel can only be done properly if I turn to Him. I had to move past my selfish tendencies and cling to Him. I haven't felt lonely. In fact, I've felt the sweetness of His love. It's purifying. It's a driving force in the right direction.

Do you feel His love? Do you hear his plea to let Him heal you? My dear friends, I testify to you that your Savior, Jesus Christ wants you. He loves you. He's walked your path, felt your sweetest joys and bitter pain. The first few steps towards Him, may be hard, but I promise you that they will ultimately change your course. His love is fortifying and will strengthen you in the best way. Because of Him, you can change. You can become your higher and best self. He knows and sees the divinity within you. He will always help you. All you have to do is open the door.

My heart is literally bursting with joy as I think about the goodness of God! You know I love my God more than anything! He is my Father in Heaven and my relationship with Him means the world to me. This session of conference really hit home to me. I needed a reminder that God's perfect plan of happiness was prepared beforehand. All because of love. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf reminded me that I can't change God's will, but God will empower me to do His will. I can testify that is true, because I've personally seen this in my life recently. I've been doing hard things and making a lot of changes, because I am trusting the path he has set before me. My faith in Him has been strengthened each day as I continually choose to follow Him. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. However, my faith in His plan for me is what's keeping me going. He's never forsaken me.

Earlier this year, I went through a really hard trial. Because of my faith and love for my Heavenly Father, I was never mad at Him. I never blamed Him. I knew He had a plan for me. But gosh, it was hard! Looking back, I can clearly see how he prepared the way for me. I'm where He needs me to be. Honestly, I'm so happy where I am. I'm in a good place, because of Him.

Dear friends, I testify that your God knows and loves you. He sees you as the divine son or daughter of God that you are. You are His. Literally. He created you in His image. He created a beautiful plan of happiness all because He loves you and wants you for eternity! Like President Uchtdorf said, God will never force you to follow Him. He didn't do that in the pre-existence and He won't do that now. But He will always love you. He will always be there for you. He will always help you. You're worth it to Him. I can't really fathom the great magnitude of love He has for me, but I have felt His love and I can testify that it is so good. God is good, He is oh so good.

All good things. It's never the worst when you have God and Jesus Christ on your side! Just sayin'!

Moment of Honesty: One Day

I keep telling myself to just take deep breaths. Politically, this country is drowning. I do not support either candidate. I'll leave it at that. But I keep taking deep breaths. I can put aside my own opinions and I can choose to love. Not because this world has become all #lovewins and #loveislove but because God loves. Jesus Christ loves. And whether you believe in religion or not, love is needed in this world. More and more it seems like hate has become more prevalent.

One day things will be very different. One day all the chaos of the world will settle. One day. I trust my God and His plan. He surely is at the helm. I see His hand in my life, even when I begin to feel frustrated with the world, especially this country.

This country is beautiful. It was built on a sure foundation. The more changes that have been made towards this foundation, the weaker it has become. I've been noticing this. But she is still beautiful. And she will still hold strong. She was built on God's foundation. She is beautiful.

I am grateful to be a citizen of a beautiful country. I am grateful for the freedom I have to worship my God as I so choose. I believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ, because it is what I have built my sure foundation on. My God will provide and He always has and as He always will.

It's not the worst. All good things.

Read the last entry in this series: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/06/moment-of-honesty-burning-wood.html

P.S. TEAM USA IS KILLIN' AT THE OLYMPICS! Currently 26 medals total, 9 gold, 8 silver, and 9 bronze!

Finding My Savior

I struggle to find my Savior sometimes. I trust so fully in God that I think that is enough. Deep inside I know that I can't have one without the other. The two make an eternal pair that help me reach my eternal destiny. I try to hold on to the times where I have deeply felt His love.

The other day I was thinking about why I have such a tendency to brush Him aside. If I truly love my God and trust Him, then shouldn't I be able to fully trust my Savior? I've always heavily relied on my God to help, comfort, and provide for me. A part of me feels like if I begin to rely on Christ more, then I won't have a balanced relationship with Him and God. I know, that sounds ridiculous. Another part of me, maybe a bigger part, is that I feel unworthy of His love and mercy. (Satan is a jerk!)

I've made a goal to read the New Testament, because reading stories of Jesus and His life, seemed like the right idea. A story that has always been my favorite, is when Jesus comes to Mary and Martha as they feel deep sorrow for the loss of their brother Lazarus.

"Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,"

 And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.

 Jesus wept.

 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!" -John 11:32-36

 I love this raw emotion that it pained the Savior to purely see how Mary was feeling, but also that He too lost a dear friend. I best find my Savior when I too feel deep pain. It seems the older that I get, the harder the trials are and the deeper the pain has become. Through that heartache, I find Him. I imagine Him seeing me cry and He too crying with me as He did with Mary.

I'm not perfect. I'm human. But even He understands the human part of me and the joy that perfection will be if I hold true. I'll keep searching for Him daily. I'll keep trying to see His hand in my life each day.

I will always find Him, but even better, He never lost me. He has been with me the whole time. I just wasn't paying attention.

Very grateful for second, third, and millions of chances to try again and improve.

It's not the worst. All good things, my dears.

 

 

Plain and Precious Truths #5

"O how marvelous are the works of the Lord, and how long doth he suffer with his people." -Mosiah 8:20

These sweet words brought so much peace into my heart. We don't nor have we ever suffered alone. Even when we often feel that, we truly never were or are alone. I testify to you that your God and Savior, Jesus Christ know you. They love you. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ, no one suffers alone. Ever. Christ knows you. He understands you. His love for you is priceless. "Oh sweet the joy." You are not alone, my dear friends. You are not alone.

Last entry: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/06/plain-precious-truths-4.html

Hi, there!

Did you have a wonderful Fourth of July? I sure hope you did! Now, I know, you're probably upset, because I told you that regular blog posts were coming and if you haven't noticed...I totes lied. I'm sorry. Life happened. But...here I am. I got up early for you guys. I even showered for you guys. (PSA: I shower every day so...no stinky here!)

I've had some really great moments the last few weeks. I haven't been posting much on social media. I've just been living and relishing moments in my life. I've seen some beautiful sights, worked hard, spent time with loved ones, and doing things I love. It was therapeutic and much needed. Also, last month was birthday month and I turned 26. I realized that I wanted to spend more time doing things I love and being with those I love, than just letting the days pass by.

Sometimes you gotta take a break. It's not a crime.

This picture was taken from the Y mountain parking lot. It was beautiful evening and my friend and I drove up in her mini van. We ate our dinner of Chick-Fil-A and watched the sunset. It was beautiful and I couldn't put my camera down. We said goodbye to the day and welcomed nightfall as we sat on a rock. I felt peace and my heart was literally brimming with God's love and goodness.

My friend and I had a beautiful "heart to heart" moment. We talked about trials, overcoming, trials, and the Gospel. I thoroughly enjoyed it, because this friend of mine is like my soul-sister. We have struggled with some of the same trials and there we were having this raw moment.

May I tell you about this girl? She's a beautiful lady with an old soul. She understands raw emotion. She's stronger than she'll ever admit. And she's smart, that girl! Her love for classic rock and people are just a few things that make her great.

I believe friends come and go during different phases in my life. God knew that I needed her friendship at this specific time in my life. That gives me all the feels! When someone comes into your life, let them show you love. Let them be who they are and let them in. (Unless they're a jerk--then kick them to the curb! You don't need that!) Friendships is the BEST ship!

Papa

My dad has always been one of my biggest heroes. I have some of his best qualities. He's funny. I'm funny. He's kind. I'm kind. He's thoughtful. I'm thoughtful. 

This father's day, we had visitors from Michigan and my dad wouldn't let them go until they sat down to eat dinner with us. That reminded me of this one Thanksgiving, where we had some workers show up to work on our yard. They were landscaping our yard. My dad invited them in for turkey dinner, but they declined. So my dad gave them a turkey to take home for their family. It's these types of things that make me proud to be his daughter. 

So many people love my dad, because he's so kind and funny. He once served in a YSA ward and the young adults would come talk to my dad. They loved my Dad. He's also a hard worker. I don't know anyone who works harder than my parents. They are always working, whether it's their business or yard work- they are always working. 

Speaking of work, when I was little, I used to go to work with my dad occasionally. We'd drive up to Tremonton where he would work on the church buildings. And we'd always stop at Big Ben's for a burger, fries, and shake. I always loved that time sitting in my dad's big truck. There was one day when we drove my dad's truck to Arizona to pick up a new trailer. It was supposed to be a father/daughter trip, but my mom ended up coming too. I was slightly bitter about it at first, not gonna lie. 

I hope my husband is half as great as you are, Dad. I love you! Happy Father's Day!

Plain & Precious Truths #4

"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions." Mosiah 24:14 

This scripture is one of sweet, sweet comfort. I feel like this year has been one of many trials. It seems like when one problem is solved, two more pop up. God has pulled me though each trial one by one. All of this so that I may stand as a witness and testify of God and His goodness. This scripture really puts that into perspective.

Read part 3 here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/05/plain-and-precious-truths-3.html

NOTE: No blog tomorrow, because Sunday will be my special post all about my Dad! You know, since it's Father's Day...

New Transition

God stood in the way. I wanted to stay, because it was a familiar place. But God stood in the way. I felt attacked with depression and anxiety. I was confused. I tried everything to make it work. But God stood in the way. Usually He lets me choose. I can feel His gentle hand guiding me. Not this time. He stood in the way and threw me into a whole different situation. The transition was quick and flawless. I only felt homesick my first night, but that quickly went away. I don't know why I am here, but here I am. I'm closer to work. I'm socializing. I feel confident, safe, and loved. A renewed hope and joy has filled my heart. I feel like myself--something I haven't felt in so long. Things have been so much easier. All of this goodness has been so much sweeter after walking a hard path this year.

New transitions in life aren't the worst. Some may be easier than others, but it's these moments that help our development. So whatever your lot, whatever your transitions are, may you remember that they always lead to true greatness. And your God will be there with you.

Divinity Within

I've been thinking a lot about being a woman means to me. I don't think I really took the time to realize just how beautiful it is to be a woman until this year. As I've been trying to do the Lord's will and prepare myself for His work, I've really had to come to know myself. I've been tearing down walls that I've built up over the years. I'm starting to see with more clarity who I am. I've really been diving deeper and deeper to see the divinity within me.

I am a daughter of God. 

I am a Queen.

I'm much more than just a woman. God has shown me and continues to show me how much more I am. We are much more than just being a mom, daughter, or grandmother. We are much more than being a feminist or a public figure. We're purely divine, because we are God's royal daughters. We have a Heavenly Mother who is ours! She paved the way of womanhood! She is the pure example of why being a woman is a beautiful thing. You don't hear much about her, because she's that wonderful. We have her divine qualities and they are desperately needed in this dark world!

Being a woman is such a privilege. We are gentle by nature. We have the power to show the world just how powerful we can be without degrading ourselves. We can be uplifting and firm, but with genuine kindness. We can show our beauty without explicitly exposing ourselves. We can raise strong children, even if we might have throw up on our shirts and peanut butter in our hair. We can do hard things, but with a gentle touch.

We women are Queens! Do we truly see how divine we are? The other day I looked in the mirror at my body. White hairs, a fresh new pimple, dark shadows under my eyes, and gosh, the extra fat literally everywhere on my body! You wouldn't want to hear the harsh lecture I had for myself. I became more and more frustrated for not taking care of myself. Then I leaned in and looked myself in mirror. I looked in my dark brown eyes as affirmations came to my mind.

I am a Queen!

I am a daughter of the Most Divine!

I am a beautiful woman!

I am a shining light!

A smile appeared on my face and I began to repair the negative thoughts with fresh love. I am grateful to be a woman. I am grateful for the ability to share my genuine kindness and love with those around me. In today's world, we need more women who love and are gentle! We need women who can raise up a righteous generation to stand against the evils of the world. We need women who can be a shining light to a dark world! We need women who can fight for good, but with much more grace. In a world full of men, we need women who can balance them out! (For real, tho!) All of us are beautiful REGARDLESS of what we have been through. We are beautiful, because we are Queens! We are daughters of a Heavenly Father and Mother. 

We all can and should enjoy the beauty that is womanhood! It truly is wonderful being a woman. So for you who love and cherish being a woman, keep going! Keep spreading that joy with your sisters! We're all in this together- it's not a competition! For you who may struggle to see or appreciate the woman inside you, have faith and let God show you just how beautiful you are! There will come a time when you will start to see the Queen inside you. You'll start to change and become a woman of such refinement! You'll become a  divinely stronger woman and you'll move mountains! We're in this together. I believe that if we could truly see who we really are, we would naturally act accordingly.

25 Years and eternity to go!

I was looking at my Church records and guess what?! I was sealed to my family 25 years ago TODAY!

"Before this world was your family was called from the great councils of heaven. Your family is not an accident. This has come by the design of your Father in Heaven. Our Father in heaven has assembled families because of the strength, growth, interactions, and most certainly the influences of righteousness given to others." 

This is a direct quote from my patriarchal blessing. I know that it's true. My family is very close. We're not a perfect family, but we grow and pull together. I would say that the glue in our family is our Faith. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the center of our family. My parents, especially my mom, has done a wonderful job at teaching us the gospel. My siblings have gone on to find their spouses and marry in the Temple. They teach their kids the same principles my parents taught.

We support each other and we love each other. Being the youngest of six kids, I've watched each one of my siblings grow up and progress in life. I've seen some of their trials and have watched them overcome them.

One thing I have loved is watching my brothers, brother in-laws, and my dad use their Priesthood power to bless our family. They take it seriously. They honor and respect their Priesthood. In a dark world, the Priesthood is very much needed. It's sacred power has saved my family during hard times.
I've also loved watching my sisters, sister in-laws, and mom become moms and a grandma! It's so fun to see them raise their children. And gosh, I am so grateful to be an aunt to 16 nieces and nephews! They are so vibrant and full of life!

Families truly can be together FOREVER! That's a beautiful blessing that this gospel offers! Oh sweet the joy!!!

Dear Mom,

One winter morning, you played outside with me in the snow before I had to go to Kindergarten. I remember that moment so vividly, because I remember thinking how I didn't want our playtime to end.

There was one school field trip that you came to and a girl in my class was being mean to you. I remember being soooo mad at her! How dare she treat you with such disrespect! And then when the field trip was over you asked my teacher if I could go home with you instead of stay at school. She said yes and I was so excited to go home with you.

I woke up one morning to find you asleep on my floor. What you don't know is that I had just awoken from a nightmare in which you and I were in an argument. (Those are the worst nightmares of all.) And there you were sleeping on my floor. Come to find out that you slept in my room because I  was whining in my sleep. 

Do you remember that time I received an award at some Polynesian academic thing? You went out of your way to ask the girls how they straightened their hair. You did so much to help me find a way to have straight hair. Then for my sweet 16, you took me to get my hair chemically straightened. It mostly worked.

I don't think you know how much it meant to me that you were my escort when I went through the Temple. That is one of my most cherished memories. You were there as I made sacred covenants with the Lord. I couldn't have made it there without your love and support.

I think the best thing of all is that you are not the same mom you were back then. You're different. You're more gentle, kind, and loving. You've changed, mom. I've seen you grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally over the past few years. And the times I thought you were going to be mad about something that I did, you treated me with kindness. You're not a perfect mom. And I'm glad that you're not. Seeing you grow and become a strong woman has helped me see that change is real. You've been so accepting of me. You've been so loving and kind as I am trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do. I have a strong testimony of the Gospel, because you instilled that in me. You're beautiful, mom. Thanks for being you. I love you!

Love, Marlisa

Last minute

Dear God,

You've really pushed me farther than I thought I could go. I only cried once. I struggled with breathing, but I made it. While the heaviness of this trial hurt, there were many moments when I felt a lighter load. I believe in you more than I did before. I'm on the right path, because it's your path. Thank you for delivering me at the last minute this morning. I'm ready to start this new life change! I love you, Lord!

Love,

Happy Easter!

When I was in the first grade I got in an argument with a kid in my class about whether Easter was on Saturday or Sunday. Obviously he won. But you see, I didn't understand that, because at my house the Easter bunny always came on Saturday morning. Turns out my mom was teaching us a lesson at a very young age about 1- Keeping the Sabbath Day holy and 2- Easter Sunday is about Jesus Christ. Momma Rock knows best, my friends. And I will continue to carry out this tradition with my own family.

Easter really resonates with me, because the atonement of Jesus Christ is close to my heart. I haven't really gotten super deep about sharing my testimony of Christ, because it's something that is very very dear and personal to me. I'm sure that will change someday, but for now I will just give you just a taste of my testimony of Him.

He's real. His mission was set out before He came to this world. He carried out his mission, because He loves God. And because He understood how His sacrifice would benefit all of God's children. His loves for each one of us is so personal, because He truly knows each one of us. He knows our pain and suffering. He understands how much that scrape on our knee hurt when we were five years old. And He understands how much it hurt when our hearts were broken. He truly paid the price. He wanted to. He chose to, because you and I were both worth it.

I often wish I could repay Him in full, because to me it seems like such a hard sacrfice to do. But perhaps that's what true sacrifice is. You sacrifice something, because you ultimately understand and love the purpose of it. You wouldn't even think twice about it. And while I can't pay him back, I can at least utilize His sacrifice personally in my life. He literally died, so that I could return to my God and live with him for eternity. Why wouldn't I want to live my loving Heavenly Father? You guys know how much I love Him.

If I could get on such a deep, intimate level with you guys on my honest feelings about my Savior, I would. But I think what's better is for you to do that with Him for yourself. He is real. Because of Jesus Christ, I have found new life. That's priceless!

Happy Easter, my dear friends. May your hearts be turned to your Savior, Jesus Christ during this wonderful holiday. See you next Monday!

“Turn your eyes to Gethsemane, and you will find inner strength and power to carry on and do whatever it is that faces you.”

Safe & Secure

Personal Credence: I firmly believe that following my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ will keep me safe and secure throughout all season of my life.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ (AKA Mormon Church) has sustained me through some of the hardest trials in my life. There's something about it that offers safety and security for my soul. For example, the little things you are asked to do, such as scripture study, prayer, paying tithing etc. offers a sense of security, especially during hard times.

I've been learning this AGAIN. The trials that I am facing have caused me to want to jump ship! But I haven't. I keep holding on. I choose to stay in the boat, because I know that God is at the helm. God knows me. God understands my situation and I know and trust that He is ironing out the path for me. So I cling to my scripture study. I cling to my covenants. And it sustains me through each day. God sustains me through each day. The atonement of Jesus Christ sustains me through each day.

Stay in the boat! Don't jump ship. Let God show you what He can do. Trust Him, because He wants to help you. He will help you. Jesus Christ knows you! He loves you an He will help you. Don't forget that He too as walked your path. He has felt your pain. He has felt your confusion. He also has felt your joy and He knows the joy you will have, so long as you keep yourself worthy.

Happy Friday/Weekend, my dear friends! And for those in Utah, don't forget the Provo City Center Temple Dedication THIS Sunday! May God continue to bless and watch over you, my dear friends!

To read the last Personal Credence post, read here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2015/11/silent-conviction.html

To learn more about what sustains me, check out this link here: https://www.mormon.org/

For more information about the Provo City Center Temple, click here: https://www.lds.org/church/events/provo-city-center-temple-open-house-and-dedication?lang=eng

To read Elder M. Russell Ballard's Talks about staying in the boat, read here:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/stay-in-the-boat-and-hold-on?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/10/god-is-at-the-helm?lang=eng

Rejection

I think rejection in any form can be hard. Whether it's relationships or jobs--it hurts! Today I got turned down for job that I thought I was going to get. And to be honest, I am extremely grateful that I didn't get it. But that doesn't mean that I didn't feel the sting of rejection. So after a very awkward phone conversation from the employer, I sat there staring out the window. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. So I took a deep breath and told myself "it's not the worst" and changed my attitude. Because I love God, I trust Him to guide me to where He wants me to go. And if I have to be continually rejected by employers to get to the right one, then so be it! Feelings of rejection have such a  negative tendency to make you feel like you're a failure and not good enough. It's easy to wallow in pain. Keep moving forward through the sting of rejection, because you'll always come out on top!  It's not always going to be  easy, but with God, it's so much easier to bear. And let me share with you a little secret: You are good enough and worthwhile! Especially in God's eyes. (That's not really a secret.) There's joy in the journey, my friends.

Belly Laughs and Inside Jokes

I have two friends.  Sometimes in life, you become friends with two crazy girls. I know these two girls, who are my friends. I'm single, because I have two weird friends.

I quit.

Find friends that you can have belly laughs and inside jokes with. Find friends who are smart. Find friends who despite how smart they are, can have stupid, random conversations about anything with you. Find friends who make you feel good about who you are. Find friends who make you want to challenge yourself and become a better you. Find friends who have good morals and stay true to their standards and beliefs. Find friends like these two.

Find friends that you all can post stupid things on each others Facebook and that is why other people are friends with you because they are entertained by what you all post.

I regret posting this picture.

For the record: I love these two ladies with all my heart and I feel very blessed to have friends like them. They are smart, weird, and two of the kindest people I know. And now that I've posted this picture of them (which truthfully is the ONLY decent picture of them that I have), I need to run away from the one on the left. BBBYYYYYEEEEEEE!