God is so Good!!!

"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, an that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions." - Mosiah 24:14

Today's scripture study had me reading this particular verse and I needed it! The Lord has really been pushing me in a certain direction and it's been easy at times and hard other times. I've felt a lot of pain, self doubt and many other emotions that I just couldn't take anymore. But today, my spirit came alive when I read these words. And I could be angry with God, but I'm not. I am never mad at Him. I know that He is pushing me in the direction that I need to be.

I deeply love my God! And He is so good to me. I have felt Him ease my burden today. I am so grateful for this experience. I don't see it as a trial, rather an experience of growth and understanding. It's in these moments that I find myself humbled and deeply connected to my creator. I love Him and I know that He loves me. God is good, He is oh so good!

Fear to Faith

Yesterday, I woke up to my business Instagram deleted. I silently stewed over it all day until my anxiety hit hardcore last night. I stress ate, was pacing the room... Luckily I have good friends who helped me out. I unleashed the crazy, stressed out Marlisa at Walmart, but somehow made it out alive, because my friends kept me sane. Whew! Life hack: Get good friends.

So anyways, while dealing with my Instagram fiasco, I've been freaking out, because I am headed to Zion's National Park for camping and hiking. This week will be the hottest. Averaging at a nice 110 degrees. In fact, there is an "Excessive Heat Warning" so you know, it's a good week to hike with limited water sources. I'm not feeling to hot about all of this. I'm nervous that I'll get dehydrated and sick. If you know me, then you know that I hate headaches/migraines. They are no bueno. I literally would rather suffer through other things then those. Fear. I seemed to be drowning in fear.

This morning, I got up bright and early and went for a walk. I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and excitement. Things were going to work out. I just needed to remind myself that I am a daughter of God who deeply loves me. He looks out for me. I don't have to drown in fear. I can be faithful and believe in God. I have my angels whom I call upon each day to assist me on my mortal journey. Today I brave the heat with my friends and enjoy my mini getaway. I have always loved southern Utah and it holds a special place in my heart. I will immerse myself in the beauty of God's creation, disconnected from the world. I will be deeply connected to my God, my Savior, my angels, and my friends. I am allowing peace, love, and faith fill me up.

It's not the worst.

Keep Going

A tinge of pain settled in unexpectedly today, so I pocketed that emotion away for a few hours so I could process. I know this is a test from God. How will Marlisa handle pain and disappointment? Well, Lord, I will focus on other things. I'm diving deep into my business. Putting my free time towards that. I'm learning a lot about myself through this process, so it's been good for me. If I want to be successful, I have to put in the work. Goals are being made an I just go to work.

Next week, I'm off to Zion's National Park for some needed getaway time. I'll also be visiting family, so all good things are in my future. I'm focusing on other areas of my life that I've neglected. I just push through, but this time in healthier ways. This is good release process for me. And healing always comes. I just have to take one day at a time.

It's not the worst.

Mid June

This new chapter of my life has a lot of surprises in it and I've just been jumpin' on the bandwagon as they come. One that totally took me for a loop was agreeing to go to Zion's National Park with a friend. I love Zion's. I love the company. But I mostly love the stargazing. If you know me well enough or you've been a reader for a while, you know my love for astronomy. More specifically stargazing. It doesn't matter the season, I have done it in the dead of winter. (That's a story for another day...) Stargazing has always opened up this new appreciation for God and for my life. I feel a sense of God's love and peace. And peace is what I need. I've been so indecisive lately. Trying to figure out a future for myself. At the end of May, I made a decision to start a relationship with someone I had talked to for nearly six months. I quickly ended it. Like within 24 hours. I tried giving my heart away, but God has a way of stopping me. I feel like I've lost myself a little bit. I feel out of my element. Tired. Emotions are just numb enough to ease the confusion I feel. I'm pulling myself together slowly. I'm mostly fine.

These moments of making choices are helping me know more of what God wants me to do. But I still have moments where I lie very still and sink deep within myself. I know God has a plan for me. And a lot of patience is required. Planning a future for myself is something that I could do. But each time I think of just me, I feel a sense of redirection. And it's frustrating at times, but I just go on with one day at a time and then praise myself for making it one more day.

So here's to taking one day at a time. Here's to making more adventures and memories for my year 27. It's not the worst.

He's got MY back!

Holy cow! God has been sooooooo good to me this week! Things were falling apart and problems kept arising. And yet, God made it so everything worked out perfectly in His timing. I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude, because I felt so undeserving of His goodness. But you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God loves you NOW! And He wants to bless you, because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know how this week was going to pan out. But I knew that if I gave my life to Him, He would make everything work out perfectly! I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to, but I had opportunities to serve. And also, if you ask God to send you people to serve, He will! For me, I gave my time to the Lord. I spent time in the Temple and endured two hours of hunger. But my spiritual hunger was satisfied and fulfilled. I gave my time by spending time with people who needed a friend and listening ear. I don't even see it as a sacrifice, rather I am grateful that I choose to put God first. God only will I serve! Even when sometimes it may be hard. But this week, I proved to myself that if I put Him first and trust Him to take care of everything else, He will! And He did this week!

Give God a chance. I just really love my God! You readers who have been reading my blog for years, know that I love my God more than anything! He is everything to me!

Happy June, my darlings! It's birthday month and I've got some great posts for you this month!

God First

I left work right at noon, because I had things to do.  (This whole week is a busy one!) Anyways, I grocery shopped like a boss (meaning I was in and out), ate lunch, and had my dessert in the oven for my relief society activity within an hour. Then I heard a knock. She came to visit unexpectedly and asked how I was doing. I turned around and looked at my messy kitchen. Garbage can overflowing, dishes in the sink, flour all over the counters...yikes! I asked her to pull up a chair while I got to cleaning up. We chatted and by the time we were done, it was nearly 5:00.

Where had the time gone? There were so many things on my to-do list and I only had two hours to cram in five hours of work. (#firstworldproblems) So I went about getting things done and then it was time to stop by to pick up my friend for the activity. Again, where did the time go? I wasn't feeling it. I wanted to drop off my dessert and quickly excuse myself.

All those worries were quickly diminished as I sat at the sticky picnic table admiring the beautiful, strong sisters I was surrounded by. I didn't care that I didn't even get half of my to-do list done. I cared more about the women in my ward. This feeling of love came over me and I knew it was God telling me that His daughters are so very loved. I could see how brightly they radiated the light of Christ. We're all different, but we all laughed and enjoyed each others company. And gosh, I haven't belly laughed that hard in sooooooooo long! It was very cathartic!

Today didn't go as I had originally planned. But I promised God that I would put Him first. So if talking with a friend for a few hours is what He wants, then I'm ready. The to-do list will never be as important as God's will for me. I needed today. I needed humility. I needed friends. I needed laughter. (I needed those ice cream sandwiches at Macey's for $1.49/box. I resisted, but you know I haven't stopped thinking about them.) Anyways, God first. Even when you're busy.

It's not the worst.

Let me slip into something UNcomfortable

I'm currently sitting in my apartment hallway, because it is hot in my room. I fixed the A/C like a Queen and am now waiting for my apartment to cool down to a nice 70 degrees.

I started a business with It Works Global, because the way God speaks to me is by telling me something months in advanced and letting me think about it until I'm ready to do what He asks. This was an answer to my prayers and something that would help me reach my financial goals and also to motivate me to treat my body better. Two women who had followed me on Instagram were part of this company. I've been watching their business grow. One is a married  BYU student and the other is a retired, 20-something year old with a family. Both were kind, motivating, and incredibly successful. The only part that scared me about this business was putting myself out there and selling. I am not a sales person. I don't do that. So after much prodding, I took the plunge.

And I became stagnant. Anxiety and fear really hit me. But I knew that if I followed everything that Christy told me to do, I would be successful. But still. I was scared. Scared of failure. Scared of rejection. Scared! So I got the kit and opened it, but then put the contents back into the box and it's sitting on my desk with some books and papers on top of it.

While paroozing my way on Instagram, a friend of mine posted these very words:

Nice, Heavenly Father. Way to put that out there. So I resisted again. Then this:

Yeah, but then I'm saving myself from feeling anxiety and uncomfortable. A few days later, I read these words that really hit me hard:

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." M. Scott Peck 

Okay, Okay, I'm listening. I realized that I was making things so complicated and I was overthinking everything! I just needed to simplify it and bring out the beauty in it. So I started up with my positive affirmations again:

I am a Daughter of God.

I am Beautiful.

I am doing hard things.

I am successful!

 God only will I serve.

I am attracting like minded people.

I am financially abundant.

I am making my dreams come true.

I radiate the Light of Christ.

I am making a difference in the world.

I felt my Spirit come alive once again. I promised God that I would try again and give it all I've got. I promised to always put Him first and then go to work. Even though this is very uncomfortable for me, I know that I have two choices. I can grow. Or I can be stagnant. We all know how I feel about the power of change, so I've re-committed myself to God, to myself, and to this company. I will bask in the uncomfortable-ness that comes and I will let it refine me. I can do hard things. I am successful.

Here's to new adventures. You can visit my Instagram @simplymarlisa for my lifestyle and "work" posts. I'll be sharing with you my journey and bringing the simplicity and beauty in the products, but how it is influencing both my life and those I get to work with. (I still have my regular Insta @missmarlirock so feel free to go there if you're not interested!)

Here we go, darlings! It's not the worst.

***If you're interested in any products or whatever, just DM, text, email, FB message me. We can embark on this journey together! You can be skeptical, but at the very least, you should just try it!***

Love YOUR Body

I spent a good chunk of time looking at myself in the mirror. Then I broke down in tears and put on the baggiest of clothes and laid there in a mess on the floor. He always talked about how Provo is obsessed with having a beach body. Then he made the assumption that I had a beach body. I told him no. He dismissed my response and asked when we'd hang out. 

Every thing about this conversation triggered the self-conscious part of me that hates my body. But why did I give him power to do that to me?

After an ugly cry, I came to my senses. I wiped away those tears and picked myself off the floor and began to recite my positive affirmations. 

I am a Daughter of God. I radiate the Light of Christ. I am beautiful. God created me. I love my body. I love my curves. I have a beautiful body, full of energy. God only will I serve. My body is working this very minute to do the Lord's will. I am beautiful!

I felt a power within myself come alive and my very frame was strengthened with so much conviction. When you recite truth,  you will feel your spirit confirm it. It's a beautiful experience and one that I will continue to do.

Love YOUR body! You were made by a God who loves you. He created you in His image. You are beautiful, no matter what anyone else thinks. Your body is beautiful just the way it is. And don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, because they're not worth your time. 

Can you imagine how God must feel when we express any kind of dissatisfaction with our bodies? He created you in HIS image. He wants us to love our bodies and treat them with respect. I'm trying to ingrain this in my mind by telling my body, "God only will you serve." This helps me keep me focused on the beauty and purpose of my life. 

Love your body, m'y friends. Your body is beautiful and divinely made.

Mother Eve

My admiration for Eve rushed in when I went through the Temple for the first time back in 2015. I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude on a deeper level for her. Growing up, I had an understanding that Eve was duped into partaking of the fruit. The word "beguiled" seemed to give off that idea.

"Dr. Nehama Aschenasy, a Hebrew scholar, said that in Hebrew the word which is translated as beguiled in the Bible does not mean "tricked" or " deceived" as we commonly think. Rather, the Hebrew word is a rare verb that indicates an intense multilevel experience evoking great emotional, psychological, and/or spiritual trauma. As Aschenasy explained, it is likely that Eve's intense, multilevel experience, this " beguiling" by the serpent was the catalyst that caused Eve to ponder and evaluate what her role in tbe Garden really was." (The Gift of Giving Life: Re-discovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth, pgs.2-3)

I believe that Eve pondered and understood with so much depth her role in God's plan of happiness. She is the Mother of All Living! She was foreordained to fill that role and she fulfilled it with grace!

"In his vision of the redemption of the dead, President Joseph F. Smith saw the prophets assembled in paradise: "Among the great and almighty ones who were assembled in this vast congregation of the righteous were Father Adam, ...and our glorious Mother Eve, with many of her faithful daughters who had lived through the ages."

 I loved her role as Adams wife. She loved him deeply and covenanted that she would stand by his side. She was a strength to him. I can only imagine how deeply Adam loved and trusted her as he also chose to partake of the fruit. Together they covenanted with God and through the storms of life, they prevailed. This beautiful, woman of God fulfilled God's will for her and I wish to emulate her example. I just love her!

Piece of MY Heart

I'm learning to give a little bit of my heart away. I'm focusing on the strengths of others and choosing to see their higher self. I'm complimenting others and letting them know how great they are and how loved they are. I don't hold back and I don't worry about my heart running out. I am whole and there is always enough love to be given out. It never runs out.

To you reading this, here's my message to you: YOU are divinely good. YOU  are strong and loved far beyond your comprehension. YOU are of divine worth, because YOU are a son/daughter of God. He deeply loves YOU and oh how I wish YOU could fully taste His love. He supports YOU and blesses YOU, because He loves you. I believe that God has a plan for only YOU. YOU can do hard things. YOU can change. YOU radiate the light of Christ, even when you may feel like you don't. I love YOU.

Eyes That See

Whether in passing or in conversation, I choose to look at you with eyes that see. I'll look at you with wholeness. Like Heavenly Father and Mother do. I'll admire your heavenly glow and the light that shines in your eyes. I'll remind myself over and over that you are a child of God.I'll pray for you and ask God to watch over you. I'll tell you I love you. Why? Because you are a whole, during all seasons of your life. I'll always choose to look at your higher self, because you are a child of God. You are divine. You are worthy of love and all that God has to offer. I choose to cheer you on, because you and I chose to come here for the same reason. I'll support you. You are whole through and through.

Fresh Love & Devotion

Recently I felt that a chapter in my life was ending and I needed to do all that I could to wrap it up. God urged to me to do some hard things. I became very vulnerable in so many aspects of my life. Some were easy, others were hard, but I did it. As this chapter ended and a new one began, I felt a shift in focus. My heart was focused on God and Jesus Christ. My desire to heal and to align my will with God's became my priority. I felt a fresh love for myself, God, Christ, and those I deeply loved. I felt a joy that seemed to consume my heart. I constantly repeat the affirmations:

I am a daughter of God. 

I radiate the Light of Christ. 

I am beautiful. 

I am brilliant. 

I am loved.

I am happy!

Each time I recite these truths, I feel my spirit come alive and drink it all up. I feel these truths imprinted on my heart. I feel myself radiating light and have others have pointed this out not even knowing what I've been doing. Tapping into my higher self has helped me see myself as a beautiful, woman of God. It has also opened my spiritual eyes and see others as their higher self. I can sense just a taste of how much God loves His children. 

I'm all in. This fresh love and devotion to my God has opened up this new chapter so beautifully. I am becoming.

Strength through The Book of Mormon

I woke up to bloodshot eyes, tired-achy bod, and fried brain early this morning. I feel like (and look like) I've gone through the ring a few times. But hey! I have 4 cans of Stephens Hot Cocoa in my cupboard and Christmas cheese ball in my fridge. It's the simple pleasures in life.

During the busiest time, I've had a lot of personal things come up and big decisions to be made. So the anxious part of me is just having a meltdown and the rest of me is pullin' it together. During the few quiet moments that I've had, I've pulled out my Book of Mormon. It's reminded me that I need to believe that God is aware of me and believe that my Savior understands exactly how I feel right now. And trust me, this is a constant reminder, because lately, I've felt doubtful. I've been doubting myself and doubting God's plan. I haven't been angry with God, because let's face it. That's near impossible for me. But I've been lacking the faith that once carried me. So in order for me to strengthen my faith, I've been reaching for my Book of Morn.

The Book of Mormon has become a blessing in my life. It's helped me pull through some hard times. It's a constant reminder that God lives and knows His Children. He will help anyone who calls on Him. This book is another testament of Jesus Christ. This is His church. He truly brings "good tidings of great joy" to those who embrace Him. I know that I've felt that. Faith and hope have been a consistent theme throughout this book. Those who have faith in their God and Savior, will always come out strong! 

I'm human. I struggle, but I have found ways to overcome those struggles. It's the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's literally brought "good tidings of great joy" into my life. 

Love Letters #14

"I was thinking about identities the other day. It's been ingrained so deeply that I am a daughter of God. But the more I thought about this, I realized that this was the solid foundation of my true identity. The other identities that follow are just added layers. And here's what I came up with:

(Future)Wife/Mother by Priesthood sealing power

Rock by adoption

Samoan by blood

Daughter of God

The layers of identities build upon each other and are all connected to the foundation. If that foundation were to weaken, because of my unbelief, then I truly forget who I am. It's become so important for me to truly understand and love each part of me. It's something that I want us to instill in our children. I want them to know who they are and where they come from. Their foundation, like ours, should be that they are a child of God. That knowledge has the power to pull them through anything that comes their way. It has for me. In a loud, dictating world, I have found peace in knowing who I am. It's carried me through some of the hardest times. ...Also, I think we're going to be good parents, even though the thought of it scares me. That's all."

Read the last entry: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/11/love-letters-13.html

Prayer - Day 8/Day13

I love this picture of Jesus Christ praying. One of my favorite things about the Savior, is that everything He did was in the Father's will. His love and devotion to God is so admirable. Throughout His life, He never forgot His God. He consistently thanked God through prayer like right before He raised Lazarus from the dead. He prayed when He visited the Americas. He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane just before He performed one of the greatest gifts to mankind. Not once did He ever forget His God. 

I love that example. I love His devotion to God. I love His constant need for God. That's how I am. I need my God. I need His guidance and His love. And gosh, God be thanked for His kindness and love towards me. The power of prayer was the start to my relationship with God and it's something that I cherish. I love night time, because it's the time when I converse with my God without being interrupted. I pour my heart to Him. The power of prayer really can grow you relationship with your God.

Becoming (Part Eight)

I was thinking earlier today on my way to work about where I am in comparison to where I was at the beginning of the year. I knew my life would change and that I would have to embrace a new normal. There's never been a year where the Lord has stretched me to get out of my comfort zone more than this year. It's been hard. I was unsure of how my new job would be like back in April. I was unsure of why God wanted me at this specific job. To be honest, it was a step down for me in more ways than one. And I hated it. I kept looking for a new job, because I felt so uncomfortable. I felt like everyone was so smart! I didn't feel like myself.

So I had to make a choice. I knew the Lord would support me with whatever I chose. I chose to stay. I chose to stay for many reasons. I knew that I needed to become more comfortable with myself in uncomfortable settings. This job has caused me to become more comfortable with myself and who I am. And honestly, it's been hard. Like reeeeealllly hard. I think it's human nature to want to feel a connection with others and to fit in. I wanted that. I wanted to know everything that everyone talked about. Pokemon, pop culture, video games etc. Those things aren't me. I never really had an interest in them. I've had to pray for strength from the Lord for me to become more okay with who I am. I needed to accept myself with who I am.

I'm seeing myself differently. I'm more and more okay with who I am. I'm practicing confidence and speaking out. I honestly enjoy where I work. I love the people. I love the environment. I'm grateful that God brought me here. I'm learning and growing in ways that I need to progress.

God is so wise! He throws you in uncomfortable situations and if you're wise, you'll come out on top! I also know that without His help, I wouldn't have been able to make it through. I'm becoming in an area of my life that really needed help.

It's not the worst.

Read the last entry in this series: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/09/becoming-part-seven.html

He is First

Personal Credence: I firmly (and I mean firmly) believe that God should be first in your life.

I'd say that my relationship with God has strengthened in the past five years. I remember the first time I sincerely went to the Lord via prayer. I was sitting in my car after an upsetting conversation with my mom. I felt lost. My best friend at the time had left for her mission. She and I had pretty much been inseparable, so you can imagine that separation anxiety was a real thing. I felt out of place in my family. I felt empty and worthless. So I prayed cried sobbed out loud to God the one thing I could muster:

Please help me.

Growing up, I knew there was a God, but it was until this moment that I experienced His reality so deeply. I felt peace come over me. I knew He was aware of me. Since then and through a journey of (mostly) trials, I have come to rely so deeply on my God. He is first and will always be first in my life. In the darkest moments, I have held on to only Him. I've felt lonely, but have always known that I was never alone. He promised me that I would never be alone and He has kept that promise.

This year in particular has been a whirlwind of both good and trying times. Gosh, the beginning of the year was just so awful! I've hit some low points, but this years low point was just- well you know, awful! I was angry at my situation, but NEVER was I ever angry with God. I couldn't be mad at Him. To this day, I can't ever be mad at Him. Knowing God, I just can't bring myself to be angry with Him. Really, all I could do was pray and let the chips fall where they may.

Here I am in October 2016 and we have been closer now more than we ever have been. The other day, I realized the true strength of our relationship through one of the most sacred Priesthood blessings I've ever had. In the past six months, I have stayed awake through the night to converse with Him. Funny to think that the dark, quiet night is the time I feel so much light and love. I have been pouring out my raw heart to Him and He listens to me. Personal revelation has been flowing more than it ever has. I'm slowly learning how our communication works and let me tell you, it's working beautifully!

He's my God. I am His and He is mine. Words could never eloquently express my deep love for Him. I know He knows me so deeply and intimately. I want to know Him so deeply and intimately too. We're working on it together. He knows me better than I know myself. He sees me as the divine Queen that I am and reminds me of my divinity all the time. He's my Father. My Father. He makes up the difference where others lack. He listens to my endless rants, frustrations, cries- whatever! He wants me to talk to Him. No judgement. Just love.

There's absolutely no way that I could (would) ever deny Him. He is real. He is very real to me and I feel His love for me every single day! Not a day goes by that I don't see His hand in my life. I've been praising Him more each day. I've been expressing my gratitude to Him more each day. I've been asking Him for forgiveness and strength to be better more each day. I rely so heavily on Him. And it's so easy for me, because I love Him!

When He calls, I always come. Is it easy? Not always. Sometimes I'm hesitant. But I always come to Him, because I love Him. I love Him more than anything and anyone. I love Him more than I love myself. My desire to do His will has only been growing. It's not easy. But He's worth it, so I trust Him. His love is fulfilling and the light that it brings into my life is everything I need.

He is First. He is always first.

Little Miracles

I lost my apartment key yesterday. I spent several hours searching for this key. I tore apart my room and put it back together. It was so organized and clean that there was literally no way that it could be in my room. However, I had this feeling that everything would be okay and I would find that key. I didn't know when they key would be found, but I knew that it would be. I prayed to the Lord with gratitude for this opportunity to exercise my faith in Him. I let Him know that I accepted the fact that it was gone and that I might not find it. When it came to leave my apartment, I found a way to lock the door using a plastic bag. I felt discouraged that I couldn't find the key, but I still had faith in God.

You probably already figured out the rest of the story, so I'll just say that the key magically appeared on the floor at work. It must have been attached to part of my costume that I wasn't wearing. The funny thing is, I had looked at my costume over and over to know for sure that there was no key attached to it. But there the key was. Right there on the floor.

I know that God was testing me. I'm so grateful that He did, because it gave me the opportunity to really see where my faith was. I chose to put my faith and trust in Him. I kept letting Him know that if it be His will, the key would show up. Yes, I felt discouraged, but I still knew and felt strongly that God would provide and He did.

I love my God. I praise Him for His goodness and mercy towards me over something so small. It's these little moments that have built my relationship with Him to be so strong. He's the first source that I always go to.  I just love Him. He is always first and I know that He looks out for me.

All good things!

30 Days

I've written about my struggle with depression and anxiety. Last week I could feel triggers of it and knew that I needed to fight it while I could. But gosh, sometimes it just really hits! I was lying in bed feeling tired and trying to fight the darkness that just wanted to take over. I received a phone notification indicating a new blog post my friend had posted and quickly went to read it. She talked about how she is reading The Book of Mormon in 30 days. It was like a light was turned on in my brain and I decided to do it.

Today marks day 5 of the challenge and I can personally testify that my battle with mental illness has been a breeze. Filling my heart and mind with goodness has been just the medicine to cure the ache inside. I'm learning more about myself, God, and Jesus Christ. The constant reminder of Gods goodness has kept me moving forward. The need for repentance has been a common theme so far and I am realizing just how much I need to continually be repenting. And while sometimes that can be overwhelming, I love that the call for repentance is always followed with a reminder of my Savior.

The goodness continues, stay tuned!

Free-write: Women's Conference

My spiritual canteen is already brimming and I have so many thoughts. A free-write if you will.

LDS General Conference has officially begun! Women's conference was absolutely stellar! I did my daily meditation beforehand, so that I could have a clear mind and heart. This conference is different for me because I actually have questions. It's so important for me to have my mind and heart in the right place, because I desire personal revelation.

It began with a bang! I only had one burning question for this session and Sister Jean B. Bingham answered that in the first two minutes! She spoke of using the light of the gospel to see others clearly. During my healing process (which you can read here and here.), it has been absolutely vital for me to see my higher self. Keeping my covenants and doing what I should be doing has been the solution. Because I've been doing this consistently, I have found that I haven't been shaming myself as often. I view myself differently. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to do my best. I prayed beforehand for ways to see others differently. What was the solution to that? Charity.

"And no one can assist in this work except he shall be humble and full of love, having faith, hope, and charity, being temperate in all things, whatsoever shall be entrusted to his care." -D&C 12:8

 Can you imagine how differently this world would be if we all had charity? It's the pure love of Christ! That's powerful! If we spoke more positively about each other and encouraged each other, I believe people would react differently. Life is hard. At the very least, we can share Christ-like love to each other. We all came here for the same purpose. It's not a race to the finish line.

Sister Bingham went on to talk about one of my very favorite things. Progression. The beauty and reality of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that anyone can improve. It's through the atonement of Jesus Christ that makes change possible. I love this truth so much, because it gives me hope. We're all trying to do our best in this life. And gosh! This life can just really suck sometimes! We're all humans having our own human experience. We struggle. We make mistakes. We're not perfect. BUT. We can consistently try to improve every single day, multiple times a day! I've personally found that God cares more that I'm sincerely trying to be better. There really can be sweetness during the bitterness of life! We were not sent here to fail! We have each other! We can embrace improvement in each other! We can love and support each other.. If we have charity, we're more kind, patient, humble, and seek the good in others. Sister Bingham encouraged us to commit to work together and to embrace the beauty in each other.

Sister Carole M. Stephens really hit it on the nail and talked about the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. She urged all of us to recommit ourselves to the Savior. No more hiding. No more covering our sins. No more feeling alone. Her call to repentance and commitment to God and our covenants, was so moving to me. She had such tenderness in her voice as she spoke of the atonement of Jesus Christ. She recited the sweet words that Jesus Christ spoke to the Americas:

"Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?" -3 Nephi 9:13

I've always loved this verse, because here's Jesus Christ extending an invitation for healing. And every time I read this verse, I can't help but feel the ache of His plea. He wants to heal us. He will meet us where we are and gently holds our hand through the chaos of life. You don't have to carry your burden alone. You don't have to suffer alone. You are not alone!

I've written before about how I am still finding my Savior here. The past few weeks, I've been able to find Him more. Cleansing my inner vessel can only be done properly if I turn to Him. I had to move past my selfish tendencies and cling to Him. I haven't felt lonely. In fact, I've felt the sweetness of His love. It's purifying. It's a driving force in the right direction.

Do you feel His love? Do you hear his plea to let Him heal you? My dear friends, I testify to you that your Savior, Jesus Christ wants you. He loves you. He's walked your path, felt your sweetest joys and bitter pain. The first few steps towards Him, may be hard, but I promise you that they will ultimately change your course. His love is fortifying and will strengthen you in the best way. Because of Him, you can change. You can become your higher and best self. He knows and sees the divinity within you. He will always help you. All you have to do is open the door.

My heart is literally bursting with joy as I think about the goodness of God! You know I love my God more than anything! He is my Father in Heaven and my relationship with Him means the world to me. This session of conference really hit home to me. I needed a reminder that God's perfect plan of happiness was prepared beforehand. All because of love. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf reminded me that I can't change God's will, but God will empower me to do His will. I can testify that is true, because I've personally seen this in my life recently. I've been doing hard things and making a lot of changes, because I am trusting the path he has set before me. My faith in Him has been strengthened each day as I continually choose to follow Him. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. However, my faith in His plan for me is what's keeping me going. He's never forsaken me.

Earlier this year, I went through a really hard trial. Because of my faith and love for my Heavenly Father, I was never mad at Him. I never blamed Him. I knew He had a plan for me. But gosh, it was hard! Looking back, I can clearly see how he prepared the way for me. I'm where He needs me to be. Honestly, I'm so happy where I am. I'm in a good place, because of Him.

Dear friends, I testify that your God knows and loves you. He sees you as the divine son or daughter of God that you are. You are His. Literally. He created you in His image. He created a beautiful plan of happiness all because He loves you and wants you for eternity! Like President Uchtdorf said, God will never force you to follow Him. He didn't do that in the pre-existence and He won't do that now. But He will always love you. He will always be there for you. He will always help you. You're worth it to Him. I can't really fathom the great magnitude of love He has for me, but I have felt His love and I can testify that it is so good. God is good, He is oh so good.

All good things. It's never the worst when you have God and Jesus Christ on your side! Just sayin'!