Becoming (Part Seven)

Coming clean with myself has been one of the most empowering things I've ever done. Allowing myself to heal and cleansing myself off all the junk that has been holding me back. Consistent mediation, prayer, and scripture study has been my staple. I'm becoming a better woman. I'm spiritually empowered, emotionally stable,  and mentally healthy. I can feel warmth. I can see the goodness of God in the details of my life. It's a process and it's working. I'm becoming my best self. I'm becoming in touch with my higher self. I'm filling myself with good things and that has helped me stay focused. In order to fulfill God's will, I needed to cleanse my inner vessel. It's worth it. God's love and goodness flows through me more and more.

I'm becoming and it's beautiful. I am beautiful.

 [PC: Sadie Banks Photography]

Read last entry in this series: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/08/becoming-part-six.html

Women Need Women

I have a special privilege to associate myself with some wonderful women each week. The Spirit is so strong. I look at these women and have so much love for them. Being able to be in their presence has been something I've needed. I've gotten to know them on such an intimate level. They're strong and beautiful.

I truly believe that women need women! We understand each other in ways that men don't. We feel for each other in ways that men don't. (I'm grateful that men balance us out though!) Perhaps that's why we have Relief Society. So that women can come together to love and strengthen each other. 

Relief Society isn't the only place though where women can bond. Even associating with my roommates has been a joy. Gosh, I love them. We all get along so well and it's been so good for my soul to laugh. (And be weird!)

I love when my very best girl friends and I get together. We can have serious conversations while still adding humor to balance it out. We laugh and laugh and laugh. It thoroughly rejuvenates my soul and my canteen is literally brimming with goodness. I feel like my best self. I feel loved. I feel safe and secure.

There's beauty in being a woman of God. Can you imagine if each of us came together in unity and love? The things we could accomplish and the amount of love that could be felt!
Women need women. We just do.

“We are all in this together. We need each other. Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young, and hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old...We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other. These friendships are a necessary source of sustenance. We need to renew our faith every day. We need to lock arms and help build the kingdom so that it will roll forth and fill the whole earth.” ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Purpose through My ministry

When Jesus Christ came to this earth, He had a purpose and fulfilled it through His ministry. That got me thinking about my purpose. I believe that all of us have a purpose to fill in this life. Of course I have a lot to learn and shoes to fill, but with God and our Savior, Jesus Christ, I believe that I'll be able to fill those shoes.

There have been changes in my life recently that have helped me take a step back and really look at myself. Who do I think I am? What do I want to do? Where do I see myself in five years? I've been realizing (especially through job rejection) that I am looking in all the wrong places. God is trying to help me understand His will for me. And I haven't a clue what that is. That's okay though. I'll get there.

I began thinking about Christ and His ministry. And that got me thinking about my personal ministry. So I started to study and immediately turned to the Bible Dictionary.

Ministry. The work of the ministry is to do the work of the Lord on the earth- to represent the Lord among the people, preach the gospel, and administer the ordinances thereof. ...Therefore what he does "according to the will of the Lord is the Lord's business."

 So then I got to thinking that my ministry was really HIS ministry. I've received several blessings that have told me about my mission in my life. That I would be a great influence in bringing others unto Christ. And I've always thought that was cool, but I would just brush it off. It would happen when it happens. It wasn't until recently that I realized that it would only happen, if I kept myself worthy to fulfill that mission.

That mission has become my ministry. And I'm not perfect nor do I feel close to being able to do any of that. So I've been turning a lot to prayer. In the heat of this trial, there's no where else I should be than in the scriptures and on my knees praying to my God for help.

All of this has helped me put a purpose to my trials and pain. A defining (and refining) purpose to help me fulfill my ministry here. Whether that's being a better friend, becoming a wife/mother- whatever. The joy of the gospel of Jesus Christ is priceless and everyone should have it! And God, everyone should know that God lives and that He and Jesus Christ love us so much.

I still have a lot ahead of me. So here I begin again, but this time with a more focused purpose to my ministry. I have a lot of refining to do. A lot of "what lack I yet" and humility. I have a lot to take to the altar of sacrifice and willing let go to follow what He wants me to do. But I believe that it's all possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

I love God. I love Him so much. And I recognize more and more that I want to live with Him again. Eternity without God just wouldn't be eternity. So here I am again, turning to Him with the Saviors hand in mine. I want leave this life feeling satisfied and fulfilled knowing that I had done His work and fulfilled my ministry. A life spent in the Lord's work may not be the easiest, but if I trust God, than I know for surety that it will be worth it.