Love Letters #14

"I was thinking about identities the other day. It's been ingrained so deeply that I am a daughter of God. But the more I thought about this, I realized that this was the solid foundation of my true identity. The other identities that follow are just added layers. And here's what I came up with:

(Future)Wife/Mother by Priesthood sealing power

Rock by adoption

Samoan by blood

Daughter of God

The layers of identities build upon each other and are all connected to the foundation. If that foundation were to weaken, because of my unbelief, then I truly forget who I am. It's become so important for me to truly understand and love each part of me. It's something that I want us to instill in our children. I want them to know who they are and where they come from. Their foundation, like ours, should be that they are a child of God. That knowledge has the power to pull them through anything that comes their way. It has for me. In a loud, dictating world, I have found peace in knowing who I am. It's carried me through some of the hardest times. ...Also, I think we're going to be good parents, even though the thought of it scares me. That's all."

Read the last entry: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/11/love-letters-13.html

Love Letters #13

"I think one aspect of love that I've found to be so enveloping, is the fact that it's simple. I feel like the worlds idea of love is to be this fairy tale perfection blown out of proportion. I think there should be simplicity in love. It's meaningful. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It's finding simple ways to say and show your love for the other. It's letting them know that they matter to you. I don't know. I just like this idea of keeping love simple."

Love Letters #11

"I knew when I was ready that I would begin to feel a shift. I wasn't picturing a big wave of emotion, just a calmness. A nice push in the right direction and here I am. Cleansing my inner vessel day by day. Loving myself more and of course loving God more. Being more obedient to Him. All of this, because I love you. Praying for you that your heart and mind will be open to God. Pushing forward, even when doubt and past pain beg me to stop. The peace is so empowering. I'm ready to open my up my heart again. Regardless of what may come, I am ready to open it up. A little at a time, of course. This shift inside me gives me all the feels, but joy tops them all. I can breathe better."

Read last entry here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/08/love-letters-10.html

Love Letters #10

"I thought of you today as I sat on the bench at the Temple . I didn't have time to go in, because the doors were closed, but I sat on the bench facing the Temple and watched the cute elderly couples. I love seeing old couples walking out of the Temple and holding hands. I hope we're like that. I hope we are frequent Temple goers and have no shame in showing the world our sweet love. (Obviously within reason, because you know how I feel about PDA.) I don't know what lies ahead for us in 50 years, but as long as we are covenant keeping lovers, I think we'll be fine."

Read last entry here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/07/love-letters-9.html

Love Letters #9

"I heard the most beautiful words the other day that really got me thinking. It gave me all the feels and it was something I connected with. 

"Dear Baby, I hope someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight. They don't pull away, they  don't look at your face, and they don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight without an ounce of selfishness to it. I hope you become addicted, baby. I hope you become addicted to saying things and having them matter to someone." -Waitress

 I just love this! This is exactly what I think of when I think of us. We hold each other during the good, the bad, and the in-between. We don't have to speak. (However, I will always listen to you while you talk through whatever.) You matter to me. How you feel, what your doing, your dreams/goals/ambitions--whatever. It all matters to me, because you matter to me. That's love."

In case you missed the last one: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/04/love-letters-8.html

Love Letters #8

"It's just that I hear so many stories of divorce and how shattering it is. But then I read stories of those who suffered in the very depths of their pain make a miraculous come back and find fresh new love. I'm not saying that I want a divorce. I don't. No one does. But I have so much respect for those who can get back up on their feet. I think it proves that the atonement of Jesus Christ really does cover all pain."

Love Letters #7 - Journal Entry

I had requests for a love letter and journal entry post. So I thought since it's February 1st, I would start out love month with a love letter in the form of a journal entry. Which isn't any different than past love letter posts. But I'm still killing two birds with one... heart. (Just tryin' to keep up with the love theme here!)

"I've been studying a lot about shame and a few months ago I jumped on the Brene Brown train. That took studying shame to a new level! It's been a very hard battle- fighting shame that is. I know that it's not an uncommon thing for people to feel shame. You don't necessarily have to do something that would be considered shameful. It can be felt in even the smallest ways. It's part of the human experience. I fear being vulnerable. I'm not an "open book" and I don't want you to think less of me if I share a very vulnerable part of me. I want to be loved and accepted. And it's so much easier for me to love and accept you, because it's inspiring and motivating. But when I turn inward, it's the complete opposite. I don't feel like I deserve to be loved and accepted, even though that's desperately what I want. So I'm studying shame, so that I can work through the personal shame I feel. I want to have the courage to be able to give myself fully to you. I want to be able to open up to you and still be able to keep my head up. I want to be able to connect with you, but I can't if I am guarded by shame. I admit it hasn't been an easy road. It's hard for me to own my story. It takes baby steps. It takes forgiveness. It takes lots of tear-filled prayers. It takes turning to God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. It takes courage. It's hard. But you're worth it!"

On a completely different note...I filed my taxes today. I'd say this month is off to a good start! More posts to come. (Mainly because you guys yell at me when I don't post. Sorry. Not sorry. Also, seriously? You guys want more pictures?! Check. Out. My. Instagram. Jk, I'll do my best.)

Check out the last sappy love letter by clicking riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight here.

Love Letters #4

"I recently read an article about how love is 'just games' and nothing more. I absolutely REFUSE to believe that. Love isn't a game. If  you want to play a game, go play Life! Love is the very essence that uniquely binds us to each other. Whether it's through a friendship or a romantic relationship; love is binding. It can warm even the coldest of hearts. I refuse to believe that love is a game. Because if it truly was a game, then we would't be us. Our whole existence would be one. big. sham. And I refuse to believe that. Why? It's quite simple. I love God. And through God, He has helped me love you better. That love is very real to me. So in case I haven't said it; I love you."

Love letters #2

"Every now and then I see an old couple walking hand in hand. Their frail, wrinkled fingers laced together, could possibly be the cutest thing ever. It makes me think of us in our ripe old age and still in our "newly wed" stage. It's these few moments that make me grateful for you. We're both still being refined and that's okay. I can wait a bit longer if needs be. Let it be in God's hands. He always takes good care of me and I know He takes good care of you. He promised me that and He always keeps His promises. Keep going, sweetheart. We're going to make it! Renew your faith in God. I've been doing that and it's made a difference. It's helped me be more patient. So here I am, waiting patiently for you. I love you." [December 2014]

 

Love Letters

"I can't even express to you this bursting feeling of peace that washed over me. It was so sweet. All the questions I've been asking were beginning to be answered. My darling, God has a plan for us. I mean, we both know that, but things are starting to fall in place. I have a better perspective than I did before. Can I tell you one of the hardest aches I've ever felt, finally, FINALLY, melted away? One that I thought was impossible for me to overcome? Well it did! That heavy-achy heart, and countless tears are finally no more! I am grateful that He finally put this heart at ease. I am also grateful that I allowed and trusted Him to put this heart at ease. I can breathe now and it feels so good! This new path I've set myself on (or rather the Lord has set me on) is exciting. I feel so at peace with everything. I'm ready for this new chapter, but boy do I have so much to learn! You and I, sir, have so much to learn. Let's keep pushing forward, okay?" [December 2014]

Love Letter #1

"Call me crazy, but I totally people watch. It's kind of similar to creeping, but that tends to be frowned upon in most cases. Anyways, I was people watching and watched several couples interactions. Here are my findings:

You have the couple who just giggles in the corner of the room. They're probably whispering sweet nothings in each others ears. Who knows?

Next, you have the couple who sit across from each other "studying", when really they are checking each other out when the other isn't looking. It's on going. I think the guy is winning. 

And to my right, we have the touchy couple on the couch. I don't need to paint that picture for you.

I love to observe and analyze them in the way they interact. I love seeing the way each individual treats their love. 

All this got me thinking about YOU. Yes, YOU! I sometimes allow my mind to think about us. I mean, which couple are we like? I imagine us being crazy funny. No doubt we probably laugh all the time. And you know how I dearly love to laugh. It keeps us young, you know! But yet, we have such a gentle side that really brings the fire to our friendship. I'm glad we built our foundation rock solid (no pun intended), so that our friendship, love, and marriage will take us to eternity and beyond! So let's keep pressing forward, okay? We've got lots to do, places to see, love to build, and much more!

Now can I tell you about something that really hit me today? I had been feeling really down lately about the idea of divorce. Divorce rates are through the roof! Finances, infidelity, pornography, gambling--just a few factors that lead to divorce. The idea of divorce, really set a fear inside my heart. That's not even an option in my book! I was working on a project, with music playing in the background, when a song began playing that I had never heard The lyrics were beautiful! I had to look them up and write them down, so that I could share with you. They were so enveloping and comforting to that dear 'ole heart of mine. A tender mercy, no doubt from God! 

I'll Be There - Brighten

Someday you'll make a promise
Yeah one you'll wanna keep
There will never be a question love
You're making it with me

No one said that it'd be easy
When trouble comes around
I will never let you fall dear
And you will never let me down

Ooh, I know
Ooh, I know
It's gonna be a long hard ride
It's gonna be a long hard ride
But I'll be there

Our jobs are taking over
The world's become so hard
We will learn as we grow older
We're stronger than they are

Just love me forever
Just love me forever

Ooh, I know
Ooh, I know
It's gonna be a long, hard ride
It's gonna be a long, hard ride
I'll be there

You're probably thinking how cheesy I am--just remember, that you asked me to marry you. (I know, I know, I was the one who said yes.) Together, we work to make our marriage work. Always. And that's what I want you to know. 

Right now, this very second for you, I am telling you right now that I love you. I made covenants with you in the Temple and I will always hold them dear to my heart. Nothing can stop us from reaching eternity! Sure, our lives might not be perfect this very moment in our lives, but I will never give up on us. When the weight of the world is on our shoulders, let's show them that "we're stronger than they are." And with God, babe we got it all! We've got this! Satan can't tear us apart. 

Right now, this very second for me, I am telling you right now that I love you. Sure, I don't know you yet, but that doesn't matter. I pray for you every. single. day. I'm doing my best to strengthen my relationship with God, so that I can better love and serve you. Sure, my life right now isn't perfect, but I will never give up on us. When the weight of the world is on my shoulder, I just remind myself that the same is probably happening to you too. Satan can't stop me from preparing myself for you. And with God, babe we got it all!

Don't give up! Keep going. "Someday you'll make a promise...you're making it with me." If you're feeling all warm and fuzzy right now, you should think about taking me out for ice cream. Just an idea...I'm full of those!"