Divine Glow

There was a time when I did not feel worthy to enter His house. It felt like the light that I once had just didn't glow anymore. So I nurtured my spirit and focused on wholeness. The light within me began to glow more each day as I recited the mantra: I radiate the light of Christ!

I imagined this light surging through me and I began to truly believe that I radiated this light. In the midst of darkness, I radiated light. Much like this picture I took on Valentine's Day. I radiate the light of Christ! I exude this light in a world filled with darkness. It fulfills my soul and fills me with light and joy.

Love Letters #10

"I thought of you today as I sat on the bench at the Temple . I didn't have time to go in, because the doors were closed, but I sat on the bench facing the Temple and watched the cute elderly couples. I love seeing old couples walking out of the Temple and holding hands. I hope we're like that. I hope we are frequent Temple goers and have no shame in showing the world our sweet love. (Obviously within reason, because you know how I feel about PDA.) I don't know what lies ahead for us in 50 years, but as long as we are covenant keeping lovers, I think we'll be fine."

Read last entry here: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/07/love-letters-9.html

A day for the books...

I'm currently sitting here in the dark, eating watermelon, and thinking about today. Today was definitely a day to remember. A good day. A very good indeed. My friend Kyle joined me for a morning at the Mall to find something suitable for a photo shoot I had this evening. I've never really done one before that wasn't graduation or family pictures. It was just for me. (More on that coming soon. I've collabed with the sweetest photographer ever!) Everything I found was within my budget and on sale! Kyle is the most patient guy friend of mine. He wanted to go shopping. He was patient as I anxiously looked at clothes. Trust me ladies, if you want a guy who will treat you like a queen, go shopping with you, hold your bags, and cook you food...Kyle is single! So...hit me up if you want in. :)

I chatted with one of my besties who told me about her moving forward in life. The joy and excitement in her voice is wonderful! Truly the Lord has a beautiful plan for her and I am over the moon excited for her to take her next step in life! She deserves all the joy and goodness that God has to offer her!

And then there's Susan. Gosh, haven't I told you about Susan? She's one of my best friends. I don't see her as often as I would like to. We hung out and she joined me for a bit of my photo shoot. If everything was her way, she would've burned all my cardigans years ago. I trusted her instincts and didn't wear a cardigan tonight. Any anyone who knows me knows that I always wear a cardigan. Also my friend Susan can beat you up so if you need a body guard. (Don't kill me, Susan.) I just realized how funny that sounded. Susan can beat you up and then be your body guard...haha. Anyways...she's the smartest cookie in the tub of ice cream. She'll out wit you and enjoy doing it so...Sometimes I just ramble about her to see if she ever reads this...Moving on.

I survived my photo shoot in heels. Yes. I wore heels. And I almost ate the concrete twice, so if that's not win, then I don't know what is. I'm so excited to share with you the pictures and gush about the photographer. She's the cutest ever and she did an amazing job!

I called my mama to update her on life. I love my mom. She's my best friend and the woman I hope to become. I always feel safe when I talk to my mom about my life. She listens. She counsels. She supports. And she loves. She's a strong, spiritual woman! It was nice to sit on the bench at the Temple grounds and chat with her.

I swung by the grocery store to pick up a bottle of water to hydrate. Literally sweat was seeping through. You're probably cringing, but whatev! I'm a human who sweats. Sorry....so I stopped by the store and picked up some water. I found myself in the produce section, because cold watermelon sounded amazing!

I walked home and called my sister. I love my sister. She's the oldest in my family and has been a beacon of light in my life. We talked about budgeting and finances. I shared with her my financial goals and career dreams. She listened. She talked to me about her financial goals and it got me excited for her. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one working towards my goals.

I came home and talked to more of friends on the phone. Checking in with some of my fave gal pals. I realized that I need to step it up as a friend and sister. How can I serve others if I can't even serve those closest to me? I love my dear friends. I love watching them grow as they move forward with their lives. I truly believe that the Lord has a plan for each of His children. I used to be a very jealous person. I've since been able to overcome that and be genuinely happy for people.

I ended the day chatting with my birth sister. I look just like her. I love her. I'm still getting to know her and thank goodness for Facebook, because it's the easiest way to talk with her. She's always so happy. Her love for the Lord is pure. She's a rock of woman, that girl!

Today was a good day indeed. One for the books. God is real, my dear friends. I can see His hand in my life and in others too. I will never stop talking about God, because I want everyone to know Him and love Him like I do. I love my God!

Life is surely not the worst. Today was definitely not the worst. All good things.

"Our fathers guard to thee,
Author of liberty
To thee we sing.
Long may our land be bright
With freedoms holy light
Protect us by thy mind,
Great God, our king."

Purpose through My ministry

When Jesus Christ came to this earth, He had a purpose and fulfilled it through His ministry. That got me thinking about my purpose. I believe that all of us have a purpose to fill in this life. Of course I have a lot to learn and shoes to fill, but with God and our Savior, Jesus Christ, I believe that I'll be able to fill those shoes.

There have been changes in my life recently that have helped me take a step back and really look at myself. Who do I think I am? What do I want to do? Where do I see myself in five years? I've been realizing (especially through job rejection) that I am looking in all the wrong places. God is trying to help me understand His will for me. And I haven't a clue what that is. That's okay though. I'll get there.

I began thinking about Christ and His ministry. And that got me thinking about my personal ministry. So I started to study and immediately turned to the Bible Dictionary.

Ministry. The work of the ministry is to do the work of the Lord on the earth- to represent the Lord among the people, preach the gospel, and administer the ordinances thereof. ...Therefore what he does "according to the will of the Lord is the Lord's business."

 So then I got to thinking that my ministry was really HIS ministry. I've received several blessings that have told me about my mission in my life. That I would be a great influence in bringing others unto Christ. And I've always thought that was cool, but I would just brush it off. It would happen when it happens. It wasn't until recently that I realized that it would only happen, if I kept myself worthy to fulfill that mission.

That mission has become my ministry. And I'm not perfect nor do I feel close to being able to do any of that. So I've been turning a lot to prayer. In the heat of this trial, there's no where else I should be than in the scriptures and on my knees praying to my God for help.

All of this has helped me put a purpose to my trials and pain. A defining (and refining) purpose to help me fulfill my ministry here. Whether that's being a better friend, becoming a wife/mother- whatever. The joy of the gospel of Jesus Christ is priceless and everyone should have it! And God, everyone should know that God lives and that He and Jesus Christ love us so much.

I still have a lot ahead of me. So here I begin again, but this time with a more focused purpose to my ministry. I have a lot of refining to do. A lot of "what lack I yet" and humility. I have a lot to take to the altar of sacrifice and willing let go to follow what He wants me to do. But I believe that it's all possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

I love God. I love Him so much. And I recognize more and more that I want to live with Him again. Eternity without God just wouldn't be eternity. So here I am again, turning to Him with the Saviors hand in mine. I want leave this life feeling satisfied and fulfilled knowing that I had done His work and fulfilled my ministry. A life spent in the Lord's work may not be the easiest, but if I trust God, than I know for surety that it will be worth it.

Repurposed

I remember vividly the day the Provo Tabernacle burned. I cried. I've had memories of going there. I remember seeing people standing outside watching it in flames and tears in their eyes. How could God let something so devastating happen to such a historic building that served many people through the years?

President Monson calmed the storm when he announced that it would be made as the second Temple in Provo. My heart soared. God wasn't just rebuilding a historic building. He was rebuilding it to be a holy and pure building. It was going to become His house. Wow.This last Sunday this beautiful building was dedicated as the House of the Lord. It was a beautiful ceremony. More than 600 buildings in Utah were set apart for this momentous occasion. Being able to attend along with hundreds of other people was incredible.

Friends, we all can be made holy and pure. We can achieve perfection. We can endure hard trials that refine us into better people. Just like this temple, we can change. God knows you. He knows who you can become and He will help you. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ we can change. Countless people in the scriptures and in these modern days can attest to this. We all can be changed through Christ. His purpose was to help you. You were worth it.

So when you feel like your burning inside. When you don't feel like you can handle your trials. I stand with you. I currently feel that. But don't jump ship! Everything will be okay, because God loves you. Your Savior, Jesus Christ loves you. God has a better plan for you. You're being refined. I'm being refined. Hold on thy way and know that you'll be okay. God has a purpose for you. Just like He had a better purpose for the tabernacle that would serve His children far better.

Remember it's not the worst. Jesus loves you, my dear friends. God loves you! Happy Wednesday!

Pictures Part Two

You asked for more pictures, so here we go! 2016 has been such a wonderful year so far!

Obviously we'll begin with Miss Kenzie! She's the cutest ever.

Also, she is getting super chunky. Chunky babies are the best!

This cute roommate and I go for walks every Sunday before church. And sometimes we just come across things like this that make us super happy! It's the little things, you guys!

Have you been to the Provo City Center Temple Open House yet? There's still time! It's beautiful!

I made homemade orange chicken on Saturday night and it was delish!

Yesterday, I made these homemade parmesan crackers with fresh guacamole. It was so good!

When our paths crossed...

Personal Credence: I believe that there is no harm in following even the smallest of promptings. If you feel it, DO IT.
***

I once read that if you feel prompted to do something, DO IT! Here's the catch, it doesn't have to be a big impression; if you have even the slightest thought or feeling, DO IT!

I've been doing this. It first started off small and the more I've been doing it, I've been realizing how many good things I think of that I just quickly dismiss. For example, I often think that I should read my scriptures for a little bit or send a text to someone telling them I am thinking of them. I've been trying to be more obedient to those things.

The other night, I woke up early in the wee hours of the night and had a thought that I should go to the Temple. I thought about it and then went back to sleep. Much later in the day, near the close of my shift at work, I had the thought again that came with a sense of urgency. I gave in and went right after work. After the session, I typically sit in the Celestial room for a while to gather my thoughts and pray, but I didn't this time. I sat there for maybe 5 minutes and then decided to go home. I bundled up and started walking out the door. The walk home began and I walked quickly in the crisp fall air. I had been following this girl and if anyone knows me, I like to keep distance from people, so I crossed the street. After I was a little half way to my apartment, the girl crossed the street and we were walking side by side. So as per usual, she starts talking to me. What I thought would be a brief conversation, turned into a wonderful conversation that ended with a hug. She was the sweetest girl alive! We talked about everything from books to dating to Buzzfeed food experiments! She was radiant and had a bright feeling about her. I felt so grateful to be in her presence and so grateful to know her. The silly thing is, I can't remember her name for the life of me. But I do know she lives a block away from me and as we parted ways, she and I hoped we would run into each other again.

She was the reason that I was supposed to go to the Temple. I was supposed to meet her and am I grateful that I did. I may not ever see her again, but I am grateful that our paths have crossed. She was probably just being her friendly self, but what she may not know is that I enjoyed being in her company. I felt so good being in her presence and feeling her light. It really lifted my spirits and I was already pretty happy.

There are going to be times that you're going to do something that you might not be sure why. That's okay! Just trust yourself. If you feel or think of something good to do, however big or small it is, DO IT. There's no harm in doing good. Happy Thursday!