Refresh, refresh, refresh

I kept hitting the 'refresh' button every few minutes. I wanted to beat all the other girls who were looking for housing. I was told through a Priesthood blessing that looking for housing would be a trial, but at the time, it didn't seem like a trial. I'm sure God chuckled said, "Just wait." BAM. I hit a rough patch.

At first, I still had my confidence and trusted that I would find a place before I was supposed to move out. God asked me to sell my contract and move. My contract sold quickly. The check out date was set and all I needed to do was find a place. Each place I came across looked good, but I still wasn't feeling settled, so I kept searching. And searching. And searching. I got blessings and was reassured that God would reveal where He wanted me to be, but that I had to continue with faith. I held on tight to that. Surely He would have a place ready at the last second. He's a God of miracles for cryin' out loud!

Nothing.

I moved back home, discouraged. WHY?! I DID EVERYTHING YOU ASKED ME TO. I've had a lot of time to think and to continue searching. Craigslist has been a tab on my internet that I have been refreshing all day. It's been exhausting. 

Alright Heavenly Father. What am I supposed to learn from this? Patience, trust, faith ya-de-ah-de-ah-da...

As I sat there on the computer, cooped up on the couch, segments of lyrics came to my mind, that caused me to kneel before the Lord and ask for forgiveness.

Be still my soul, The Lord is on thy side

With patience bear, thy cross of grief or pain;

Leave to the thy God to order and provide.

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still my soul, thy God doth undertake;

to guide the future as he has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;

all now mysterious shall be bright at last.

[Source]

Aren't those lyrics soothing? I had lost my confidence and hope in Him. After that humbling experience, those were restored. God will always provide for each one of us. He has proven that to us time and time again. If you really think about it, how many times has He provided for you? It may not be in your timing, but always in His. Let's be honest, His timing was always perfect anyways!

Love letters #2

"Every now and then I see an old couple walking hand in hand. Their frail, wrinkled fingers laced together, could possibly be the cutest thing ever. It makes me think of us in our ripe old age and still in our "newly wed" stage. It's these few moments that make me grateful for you. We're both still being refined and that's okay. I can wait a bit longer if needs be. Let it be in God's hands. He always takes good care of me and I know He takes good care of you. He promised me that and He always keeps His promises. Keep going, sweetheart. We're going to make it! Renew your faith in God. I've been doing that and it's made a difference. It's helped me be more patient. So here I am, waiting patiently for you. I love you." [December 2014]

 

Love Letters

"I can't even express to you this bursting feeling of peace that washed over me. It was so sweet. All the questions I've been asking were beginning to be answered. My darling, God has a plan for us. I mean, we both know that, but things are starting to fall in place. I have a better perspective than I did before. Can I tell you one of the hardest aches I've ever felt, finally, FINALLY, melted away? One that I thought was impossible for me to overcome? Well it did! That heavy-achy heart, and countless tears are finally no more! I am grateful that He finally put this heart at ease. I am also grateful that I allowed and trusted Him to put this heart at ease. I can breathe now and it feels so good! This new path I've set myself on (or rather the Lord has set me on) is exciting. I feel so at peace with everything. I'm ready for this new chapter, but boy do I have so much to learn! You and I, sir, have so much to learn. Let's keep pushing forward, okay?" [December 2014]