Distracted

I've got a lot of thoughts in my head. My focus to understand and fulfill my ministry has been distracted. Today I was just boiling mad at someone for absolutely no reason. I created all these scenarios in my head and I was just mad. As per usual, you wouldn't be able to tell. I was getting other things done. But all the while my mind was mad. Then it dawned on me that was Satan was just being a jerk so I quickly got rid of him.

This journey to towards my ministry has been so trying, because now that I know that I want to fulfill God's will, Satan's been distracting me and filling my mind with anger and pain. And sometimes I want to forget it all and just focus on the things that I need right now. But, my heart is telling me to focus on God.

I have trials and pain just like everyone else. There are things God is asking me to let go, so He can further my journey forward. But I being so stubborn keep putting it off. Last night, I frustratingly wrote down my prayers to God on post it notes and put them on the side of my desk and went to bed. I shamefully was just waiting for God to fix everything. And then tonight I knelt in sincere prayer asking forgiveness for being irresponsible. If I am to fulfill God's will, I need to go through the refiners fire. I need to stand up to the plate. Here's to a good nights rest and a fresh start tomorrow. There's always tomorrow.