You asked for more pictures, so here we go! 2016 has been such a wonderful year so far!
Obviously we'll begin with Miss Kenzie! She's the cutest ever.
Also, she is getting super chunky. Chunky babies are the best!
This cute roommate and I go for walks every Sunday before church. And sometimes we just come across things like this that make us super happy! It's the little things, you guys!
Have you been to the Provo City Center Temple Open House yet? There's still time! It's beautiful!
I made homemade orange chicken on Saturday night and it was delish!
Yesterday, I made these homemade parmesan crackers with fresh guacamole. It was so good!
Here's the thing. I've been doing so many interviews the last several weeks. I've had good and bad interviews. Some I'm more nervous for. Others I'm pretty calm. I've gotten to the point where I have the same answer to every question. However, if there is any question that I absolutely despise, it's the "what would you say your weaknesses are?" question. And my first instinct is to say, "I'm kind of a perfectionist." because let's be real, that's a stupid question. If I was going to be honest, I wouldn't be doing the dang interview. Like, let me pull out a list of all my flaws and you can just take a look at it and then go from there. Perhaps there is an element of humility that the potential employer is looking for. I don't know. If you have an answer to that question, tell me in the comments below or via email! Happy Wednesday, everyone! We're halfway to the weekend!
Recently, I have found myself getting up early and sitting at the kitchen table. I don't do this everyday, but a few times throughout the week. I open up the blinds a little bit and watch as the dark sky begins to get lighter. I drink hot herbal tea and just allow myself to just be. I take deep breaths and let my mind wonder. And then after that mug is empty, I slip into the sink and get back into bed to sleep. While this may seem like a strange morning routine, I enjoy it. I enjoy the quiet moments that I have and they really do jump start my day. To be clear, I only go back to sleep for like an hour. (Sleep, lay in bed, it's the same thing.) Happy Tuesday, darlings!
I have two friends. Sometimes in life, you become friends with two crazy girls.I know these two girls, who are my friends. I'm single, because I have two weird friends.
I quit.
Find friends that you can have belly laughs and inside jokes with. Find friends who are smart. Find friends who despite how smart they are, can have stupid, random conversations about anything with you. Find friends who make you feel good about who you are. Find friends who make you want to challenge yourself and become a better you. Find friends who have good morals and stay true to their standards and beliefs. Find friends like these two.
Find friends that you all can post stupid things on each others Facebook and that is why other people are friends with you because they are entertained by what you all post.
I regret posting this picture.
For the record: I love these two ladies with all my heart and I feel very blessed to have friends like them. They are smart, weird, and two of the kindest people I know. And now that I've posted this picture of them (which truthfully is the ONLY decent picture of them that I have), I need to run away from the one on the left. BBBYYYYYEEEEEEE!
I read what has become one of my favorite books, "More Than The Tattooed Mormon" by Al Carraway. It was late one evening and I wanted to read a new book. I came across this book and felt a pull to read it. So I did. And you guys!!!! I love this book with all my heart! There was so much written about my favorite person: God. If you haven't noticed *hint hint: my labels section* you'll see that God is the biggest and most popular topic. Reading this book was not only a page turner, but the Spirit testified to me again that there is a God. So here I am to talk to you and share with you my thoughts and testimony.
I know that there is a God. I know He created you and I. We're so lucky to be His. And gosh darn it, we are lucky, because He is not just a God. He is a Father. We are so lucky to have a Father who sees us, who knows us, and wants us. I know that God lives. I've found that Heavenly Father picks up the slack where others are lacking. People are imperfect, but God is PERFECT! He is there! Always!
I know He loves you. Just like He loves me. If there's any power that God has, I'd say His love is the most powerful! His perfect love never changes and yet it changes us! Even right this very second, He is aware of you and loves you deeply. To be honest, there have been times when I felt like God didn't love me I didn't feel like I deserved love. And a lot of that was shame that I felt. I felt like I wasn't worthy of His love. I have made soooooo many mistakes and if I don't even love myself, then why would God love me? Have we not all been there? (Let's be real, I'm not the only one who has thought that.) The best way for me to feel God's love is to pray.
Speaking of prayer, I know that prayer is our greatest source to conversing with Him. Oh does He love it when we pray. Forget the proper way, just talk to Him! He just wants you to talk to Him. He wants to help you and He is ready to! But sometimes He wants us to come to Him. Whether it's asking for help or comfort or in gratitude. Just talk to Him, because a Father/Child relationship is so precious and important! Some of my most heartfelt moments are when I kneel before the Lord in deep, sincere. I open up my heart to Him. Being vulnerable is hard. But those moments when I can put my guard down and expose myself to the Lord, I feel peaceful. I feel loved. I feel worthy of His love. I feel His kindness and warmth around me.
One of my favorite songs is titled, "Just How I Am" sung by Laken Quigley. It's from the EFY 2014 album and this song (and album) is amazing!
[PRESS PLAY]
Just How I Am
-Laken Quigley
When I'm alone, I can fall to my knees
And I know that He'll always be there.
When I'm surrounded and I call out His name,
I know He will still hear my prayer.
Though I'm in a world full of people,
And I'm only one in the crowd,
No, He'll never forget me,
He's always up there looking down.
Chorus:
And He knows me,
He knows me.
And He holds me,
In His hands.
Yes, He knows me.
And He loves me,
Just how I am.
Just how I am.
When I'm in need, when I'm falling apart,
He will always be right by my side.
Patiently waiting for me to reach out
He just wants to be part of my life.
Even when I think I know better.
Even when I do something wrong.
He'll always help me through it,
Yeah, He's been there all along.
Chorus
And no matter life may bring, no matter what comes
I will always know who I am and where I belong
Chorus
He knows me and He loves me
Just how I am.
Just how I am.
I feel like it's easy to not believe in God or turn to Him, because we've experienced times when we've felt jaded. You don't want to get hurt again. Or perhaps it's because you can't physically see Him, so how on earth could He be real? Here's my advice, if there is anything that I could urge you to do, it is to first ask God if He is there. (Prayer works!) I promise you that He will answer you and you will know that answer! If you don't really know Him, then I urge you to get to know Him. Open up your scriptures, study His characteristics. That's what got me started. And pray, pray, pray!!! Again, I promise you that God will answer you!
I've always heard that you should make God your priority. And I understand that, because when God is your priority, life doesn't seem so bad. I feel like regardless of what is thrown my way, I will get through it. I admit it's not always easy to turn to Him. (I'm so stubborn!) But I always end up turning to Him and He always rescues me! Always! Everything will be okay so long as God is there. God is real. God is good! I love Him! I don't think I could truly describe to you my love for Him, because it's- I just love Him!
You have a God, and He is yours!
-Al Carraway
I wrote #always next to this sentence in her book, because it speaks truth! God is always ours just like we are always His. Happy Sunday and may you feel God's love for you on this Sabbath day!
For more information on Al Carraway, check out her blog here! I always love reading her posts. You can also check out her book! I encourage each one of you to read it, because it was THAT good!
My fingers were slightly sticky from my sneaky splurge glazed donut as I responded to a text about hitting the indoor track tonight. And while I should feel some what shameful knowing that I was going running anyways, I bought that donut and savored every bite. No guilt here, sir! If I'm going to be honest, Monday's have become my favorite day. I love the start of a new week. I love the week days. I love having a morning routine to jumpstart my day. Today was a good Monday, because I got a lot done. I was able to sneak in an episode of The Pioneer Woman on Food Network while I ate my brunch. (But if I'm being honest, then I will let you in on a little secret. I watch The Pioneer Woman just about every morning.)
Monday's don't have to be bad. Make them worth it! Happy Monday!
I believe that part of the becoming process is learning to move past shame. To be able to "own your story" as Brene Brown put it and move forward with your head held high. I'd say shame has been something that I've been really hating lately. If there's anything that Satan is really good at, it's shame. And while I prefer to ignore it and hide it under my bed, it always surfaces. It's hard. It's really hard. If you want to learn more about shame, I highly recommend you look into Brene Brown. Her book I Thought It Was Just Me was the book that got me into wanting to learn about shame. This book really hit home with me and it took me several months (yes, months!) to get through it. I couldn't just read it like a page turner. I had to read a little bit, process and internalize what I read, and make a personal connection to it. And sometimes doing just that took several days, even weeks.
Shame says that I am bad. And I honestly feel that way every single day, multiple times a day. I'm not saying this because I want your sympathy or pity. I'm sharing this with you, because everyone feels shame. It's part of the human experience.
But we don't have to be defined by it! That's part of the becoming process. Working through our emotion and shame and coming out strong. Because regardless of what our story is, we are still worthy of love. The becoming process is knowing that you are good. You are strong and courageous. You are worthy of love. I like that. So much so, that I am working on it. It's not easy, but I know it's worth it, because I am worth. You are worth it.
I had requests for a love letter and journal entry post. So I thought since it's February 1st, I would start out love month with a love letter in the form of a journal entry. Which isn't any different than past love letter posts. But I'm still killing two birds with one... heart. (Just tryin' to keep up with the love theme here!)
"I've been studying a lot about shame and a few months ago I jumped on the Brene Brown train. That took studying shame to a new level! It's been a very hard battle- fighting shame that is. I know that it's not an uncommon thing for people to feel shame. You don't necessarily have to do something that would be considered shameful. It can be felt in even the smallest ways. It's part of the human experience. I fear being vulnerable. I'm not an "open book" and I don't want you to think less of me if I share a very vulnerable part of me. I want to be loved and accepted. And it's so much easier for me to love and accept you, because it's inspiring and motivating. But when I turn inward, it's the complete opposite. I don't feel like I deserve to be loved and accepted, even though that's desperately what I want. So I'm studying shame, so that I can work through the personal shame I feel. I want to have the courage to be able to give myself fully to you. I want to be able to open up to you and still be able to keep my head up. I want to be able to connect with you, but I can't if I am guarded by shame. I admit it hasn't been an easy road. It's hard for me to own my story. It takes baby steps. It takes forgiveness. It takes lots of tear-filled prayers. It takes turning to God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. It takes courage. It's hard. But you're worth it!"
On a completely different note...I filed my taxes today. I'd say this month is off to a good start! More posts to come. (Mainly because you guys yell at me when I don't post. Sorry. Not sorry. Also, seriously? You guys want more pictures?! Check. Out. My. Instagram. Jk, I'll do my best.)
