Always with Love

***Note: The events of this post happened yesterday, even though I'm posting this today.***

I've been running into grumpy people.. Stressed out people. Insecure people. Depressed people. Imperfect people. And don't get me wrong, I have fallen into these types of people lately. So here is how tonight went down:

A dear friend of mine and I went to the grocery store. We parked a little crooked, but still in the lines. I could get out of the car just fine. No problems. And then the woman who was parked next to us and her kids came into the picture. 

And a bit of hell broke out.

She was angry and the few words I caught were, "Parking, seriously?" She paired that frustrated tone with a look to match! Yikes! I heard her open the door and in a cold tone tell her kids to squish. I walked over to see her with the door open more than enough for her kids to get in. And my friend offered to move her car and fix the parking. I didn't hear a reply from this woman, so it didn't happen.

I was angry and confused, but my parents taught me respect, so I quickly, but kindly said, "We're so sorry! I hope you have a good night." And off we went. And don't get me wrong, I was angry that this woman would not only act that way, but do it in front of her kids, and then talk to her kids in a rude way. I walked into that store impatiently, when suddenly a thought came to my mind: You don't know her. Pray for her.

As I walked up and down the aisles putting food in my basket, I kept replaying the whole scenario in my head. And then I started thinking about how I don't know know her. I don't know what her day, week, month, year, or life has been like. Maybe today has been a rough day. Maybe she's a tired mama, who just wants to get home. Maybe she's hurting, stressed, or depressed. Maybe she was in a hurry and our poor parking job made it harder for her back out. I don't know.

And then I came home and shared my frustration with my roommate. Frustrated again! And then again, the Spirit slapped me in the face. You don't know her. Pray for her. And just like that, He was gone! Guilt and shame really started to settle in.

So tonight, I knelt down in prayer and poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father. I asked for His forgiveness for my negative attitude. I asked forgiveness for being stubborn. I asked forgiveness for not praying for this woman right away. Then my prayer became all about this woman and her family. I prayed that they would be blessed with good health. I prayed that the Spirit would go and comfort them. I prayed that God would continue to watch over them. I prayed that my heart would be softened. I prayed that I could be more understanding of other people and asked God to help me.

The Spirit came and filled my heart with love. Love for this woman that I don't know. Love for her children. Love for everyone who may be hurting or struggling right now.

I made a promise to myself and to God that I would be more understanding and kind. I would show love and compassion to everyone that I come in contact with. I promised to strive harder- more than ever before- to share Christ-like love with everyone. Even those who hurt me. Even when I don't understand.

So to the woman at Smith's grocery store around 6:10 pm on Tuesday, January 26, 2016, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the whole situation. I'm sorry the car was parked crooked. I'm sorry I was internally frustrated and gave you a lame apology. I'm sorry your kids had to squeeze to get into your car. I'm sorry that I had negative feelings towards you. I'm sorry that my actions affected you. I'm really sorry. I wish you and your family the best in life. May God continue to watch over you and bless you with so much goodness!

On a similar note: I taught Relief Society this last Sunday about following the Spirit and always having Him as a companion. It was based on this talk given by President Henry B. Eyring from October 2015 General Conference. I needed that lesson. What happened tonight was an opportunity to obey the Spirit. I guess you could say that I obviously need more practice. And I now know that it's so important to have the Holy Ghost as your companion ALL the time. The Spirit will always teach you (correct me), comfort you, and guide you. Here's to striving to be better.

Beat The Blues: Self-Medicating with Exercise

Disclaimer: I'm not against people being on medication to treat their depression/anxiety. I think if you need it, take it. You're not a bad person if you do and you're not a bad person if you don't. It really doesn't matter, you do you!

I was reading some articles online about how some people have chosen to "self-medicate" by simply doing a few things. I thought it was pretty interesting. The common factor was exercise. And if you're like me, exercise is the last thing you want to do when you're feeling terrible. I mean, there's that whole endorphin's make you happy thing...wait a minute...what? ENDORPHIN'S MAKE YOU HAPPY?

It's confusing right? You feel terrible and you put your body through some sort of exercise and you're happier? Yes. Yes you are. How? Why?

Endorphin's improve your natural immunity, which changes your perception of pain. It not only changes your mood, but also changes your self-esteem. Then there's all the health benefits like protects you from diseases and lowers your blood pressure. You get fit and have more energy. One study I read talked about how they had three groups of people, one group was only doing aerobic exercise, the second group was only on anti-depressants, and the third was doing both. The result was relatively the same, except for those who did exercise were happier a lot longer than those who were just on anti-depressants.

Really the intensity level doesn't matter. Whether it's aerobics, yoga, or just going for a walk, it will boost your mood. It's still a win, even if you feel a little better than you did before. You don't have to start out big, just start doing something.

That's the end of this series. I've enjoyed reading your emails. You guys have shared some great stories and/or advice. Stay happy!

Beat The Blues: Essential Oils

So...let's talk essential oils. I just started using them. However, I have a lot of friends who use them and they seem to like them. So I'm jumping on the bandwagon and seeing what all of this is about. And to be honest, I like them. I'm currently using lavender, wild orange, and frankincense. I thought those three were safe enough to start with. Here are the benefits of these three:

Frankincense: Relaxing, focusing, centering.

I put a drop of frankincense in my mouth once a day. A lady in Seattle told me to do this last year when I went to visit. She was really into essential oils and had me read a book all about them.

Orange: Refreshing, uplifting, invigorating.

I've always loved the smell of citrus and orange is my favorite. If I am feeling particularly groggy, I put a drop of this and rub it between my wrists or the back of my neck. The scent really helps me get going.

Lavender: Soothing, normalizing, balancing.

I told you in a previous post, that I typically use lavender internally by making lavender lemonade. If I get a headache I will use it for that. Lavender is just naturally calming and really helps with my anxiety.

My mom recently rubbed a sage blend on the back of my neck to help me calm down from and anxiety attack. I could feel my body absorbing it quickly and I was pretty surprised at how calm I became. I'll have to report back what it actually was, but I do remember it being sage.

Do you use essential oils? If so, what do you use? If you're interested in using them, there are plenty of sources to go to purchase them. I got mine at Sprouts Market Place. You can check out Doterra and they are pretty good too. Check back in tomorrow for our fifth and final post for this series. Bye!

Beat The Blues: Professional Help

I had a realization on Sunday that I needed to go back to counselling. I haven't been to counselling since this last summer. It's expensive. However, I fully recommend that if you feel you need professional help, GET IT! Growing up, my parents put in me in counselling twice and I HATED IT! In all honesty, I wasn't ready for it, nor did I feel that I had a connection with my counselors. My mom got tired of putting me in counselling, because I would literally get in the car so angry after each session.

Fast forward to fall 2014 when my family helped me get back into counselling. The first few times of counselling, I came home very discouraged. I was more mad at myself and felt a lot of shame for being there. I tried to be more open with my counselor and grew to love her. She made me feel good about myself. She helped me understand how my brain worked. She encouraged me with my dreams. She rarely gave me homework, instead she would have come up with my homework to do.

I highly encourage that if you are experience bad anxiety/depression to get professional help. There are so many sources out there that can help you get more affordable help. Don't feel guilty if things aren't go well with your counselor. You can always find another one. In fact, one of the first things my counselor told me was, "If things aren't working out, don't hesitate to "fire" me." She was more concerned that I get the right help and if I wasn't getting it with her, she wanted me to find someone else.

Don't let shame hold you back from getting the proper help you need. I once read that shame is thinking, "I am bad" when in reality, YOU ARE NOT BAD! You are worthy of love. You worthy of the best life. You are worthy of joy! There are many people in the world (including myself) that may need a little extra help with anxiety/depression. That's OKAY! You will come out on top!And if anyone tears you down into thinking otherwise, then they are probably not worth your time in the first place.

As I always say, we are in this together. If you have any stories you want to share about your experience with counselling go ahead and comment or email me. I have really enjoyed reading your emails this week! Ya'll are great! Happy Wednesday and check back in tomorrow for the fourth post.

Beat The Blues: Goals & Anxiety Management

Goal making is something I love. I love to make to-do lists and checking off them as I accomplish them. I make daily, weekly, and long-term goals. The issue is I have very little to no motivation when anxiety and depression hit. I look at my to-do list as a burden. It's hard to find motivation when you feel down. I've learned that it's important to have small goals for the day. Here are a few goals that I do and anxiety management to ensure that I have a good productive day.

• Make your bed! You'd be surprised, but while it may be such a small thing, there is a sense of accomplishment in making your bed every morning. It makes it so that I don't feel tempted to climb back in bed and it looks clean. I love a made bed and I love the feeling of climbing into a made bed at night.
• Make a short to-do list. You don't have energy or motivation to do a lot of things. Don't add to your anxiety, by adding more than you handle. It's not a good idea. Pick simple things to do that you can handle.
• GET. OUTSIDE. If you're like me, you don't want to leave your house. Especially during the winter months, I don't want to go out in the cold. Here's the thing, getting some fresh air and being active can really boost your mood. It's winter here and I have been bundling up in layers and going for a walk. I like a burst of cold crisp air, because it wakes me. I walk for however long I want to (even if it is just a block) and sometimes I listen to music while I walk. You do you. 
• Less screen time. Technology is can be so distracting. It's easy to pull out our smart phones or tablets and binge watch Netflix, check Facebook and Instagram. I'm always guilty of this. But here's the thing, I always feel worse about myself when I'm constantly plugged in. I feel unaccomplished or I compare myself. Turn off the phone, TV, laptops-whatever! Unplug, disconnect, and do something. I used to struggle with FOMO (fear of missing out) and would always check FB or Instagram to see what people were doing with their lives or what is happening in the world. I got to the point where I was either tearing myself down or living vicariously through other people's lives. But that's just it, other people were living their lives and I was just sitting there stalking their social media. Not good. Limit your screen time.
• Make your own meals. There's a feeling of accomplishment when you cook your own meals. Don't opt for fast food. Even if it's throwing everything in a crockpot and turning it on. That's an accomplishment that you  are going to enjoy!
• Take deep breaths/meditation. When my anxiety hits, I tend to shut down. I always have to walk myself through deep breaths. I used to hate mediation, but as I've been doing it everyday for 5-10 minutes, it's helped me slow down and simply be. Even if you're at work or in a public place, just take a few deep breaths. It helps.

There are so many ways in which you can manage your anxiety or have more effective goals when you're dealing with mental illness. We're all in this together, so if you have any tips or tricks go ahead and comment below or send an email. Stay tuned for post 3 of the series tomorrow and have a great day! BBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Beat The Blues: Food

"Let food by thy medicine." -Hippocrates

Food has always been a hit or miss with me during anxiety/depression. I either want to binge to fill the empty void or I forget to eat. I've found though that I feel a lot worse when I just binge on junk food. While pizza may be a "comfort" food, it doesn't give me the nutrients that I need. In fact, I feel a lot more tired and groggy. It's gotten to the point where I had to get rid of all the junk food and replace them with healthier options. That way if I do binge, I have no choice but to eat what I have. Eating fruits and veggies give me the nutrients that I need and actually help me have more energy. When I put healthier things in my body, I feel a lot happier. I have found that I am able to deal better with my emotions. I recently went to Sprouts Market Place and restocked my cupboard and refrigerator. Below are some pictures of what I usually buy. (Not pictured: Nutritional Yeast)



When anxiety/depression hits, I don't have energy or motivation to make anything to eat. I make sure to stock up on simple and tasty foods that are quick. Avocado toast is a staple for me. It's quick and delicious and filling!

 Avocado Toast

1/2 Avocado

Bread

Olive Oil

Sea Salt

Lemon Pepper

Butter

Toast your bread. Once your bread is toasted, you can add butter or just go straight to adding your avocado. With a fork, smash your avocado onto your toast and then season with your salt and pepper. Finish off by drizzling some olive oil over it and voila! Avocado toast!

I typically add some fresh fruit. It adds both sweetness and color. When I'm feeling down, I like to eat things that are aesthetically pleasing. By adding more color to your plate, it can brighten your mood. I know, it's weird, but it works!

I will be doing a post about essential oils on Thursday, but I wanted to share my Lavender Lemonade recipe. Lavender is naturally calming and relaxing. Funny enough, I'm not a big fan of the scent. I really love lavender lemonade, because it's got the sweetness of lemonade with a hint of lavender. I've found that this is both pleasing and relaxing.

Lavender Lemonade

3 Lemons

6 cups water

1/2 cup Agave Nectar or Honey

1 Drop Lavender Oil

Juice your lemons and add them with the agave nectar to your water. Add 1 drop of lavender oil and stir together. Chill in the refrigerator or pour over ice. Enjoy! (Note: one drop of oil goes a long LONG long way! Don't add more in. It'll taste interesting.)

  

I will be sharing with you more recipes and if you have some that you love, send them in! Check out tomorrow's post all about goals and anxiety management. Stay awesome, kids!

Beat the Blues

You may or may not know, but I struggle with depression and anxiety. Those of you reading this may also struggle with the same thing. I think it's something that has become very common, but it is also very individual. My level of depression and anxiety maybe different than others. There's really no need to compare, we struggle with it.

The month of January, my depression and anxiety tend to kick in at full force and it typically lasts through February. I think a part of that is seasonal depression. While I would choose cold weather over hot weather any day, I still need sunlight. The last few days have been dark and gloomy. I've found my spirits and energy have been lower than usual.

This year, I wanted to make a more effort to beat the blues. I have a created a five part series called "beat the blues" and will be sharing my ways in which I deal with my depression and anxiety, cheer myself up, and have more energy.

For starters, I came across a fairly accurate comic strip about people who struggle with depression and anxiety. Click here to check out the comic strip and the full article. Stay tuned for next Monday for part one of the series!

Money, Money, Money, Mo-ney...MONEY!

If you sang the title and thought of "The Apprentice" then I automatically think you're cool.

Finances have been on my mind lately and that is what this year is alllllll about! Getting. Out. Of. Debt. Thank you to family and friends who have helped me start this year off with a bang! And shout out to the one and only DAVE RAMSEY! If ever given the opportunity to shake his hand, I would easily jump on that! He has been such an inspiration and motivator for me and my family. I've been listening to his radio program and following him on social media. It's so comforting to know that there are other people out there who are taking care of their debt. I can't wait until the day when I can call Dave's radio program and yell "I'M DEBT FREE!"

Getting out of debt is something that has become so important to me. However, it requires a lot of commitment, energy, and sacrifice. Three things that...well yeah, I could do better in. I know it will be worth it, because living a debt-free life means that I am no longer tied down. It offers a lot of freedom.

I've been budgeting and living on a strict 'cash only'  basis. It's hard. So hard. But I know it will be worth it. I know that this is only temporary.

I'll be documenting my journey right here on this blog. If you'd like to share your experience, go ahead and shoot me an email or comment below. It's always so motivating to hear other peoples stories.

Here we go!

***If you are interested in learning more about becoming debt-free and/or want to learn more about Dave Ramsey, click here.

2016

Well here we are 2016! Ended 2015 with family and started 2016 with family. Is there a better way to celebrate? I think not. And no, I didn't fall off the earth, I just wanted to enjoy the Holidays. And yes, I have uploaded several posts that got posted on the day that I started them. Feel free to go back and read those. (All the links are down below.)

Here's to a new year full of goodness. It's already day two and I have already made some changes. New room, new budget, and lots of new books to read! Here we go 2016! Let's make this year a good one!