I watched a video that really "pierced me to the core." It was about living your life. I'm really good at letting the days pass by. For a while there it seemed like the days were just mushed together. I'm a gal who lives a lot by fear. I'm a dreamer. Just a dreamer. Not a do-er. I don't like rejection. I don't like failure. I like to play it safe. I like my bed. I like to stay inside. I'm a home girl.
And every now and then I'll have spontaneous moments. But then the introvert in me has to recuperate for like 8 years. And I hate it. I hate that about myself. If you could only see the lists that I have made for years of things I want to do. You'd be like, "Girl, get yo' shiz together and live yo' life!" And then I would be sitting on the bathroom floor in tears telling you all my insecurities and excuses as to why I can't do them.
Here's the thing, it wasn't until this last trial of being unemployed that REALLY made me think of what I wanted to do. I wasn't doing what I wanted to do. It's my life. And while I am working on understanding my ministry, I also want to have life experiences. I want to have stories to share with my children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. I want to know and feel the joy of my journey.
So I took those lists and I made short-term and long-term goals. Then I carefully (and prayerfully) crafted a plan for those goals with the Lord. Because, Lord knows that I can't do those things alone. I've already proven to Him and myself that I can't. I'm not perfect. But change is very possible. I can change my life now. I want to die knowing that I did three things in my life:
- Loved God
- Shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ
- Lived life to the fullest
Here's I go!
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