Heat Wave 2K17

It's hot. Maintenance said they're waiting for parts to fix it. If it's going to be this hot in my apartment, can it at least make me (more) tan?

Jokes! I've been telling myself not to be upset about it, rather to just laugh it off. So I'm sitting here with a cold wash cloth on the back of my neck and a fan blowing on me. I also have those ice packets you put in your lunch to keep cold IN my bed. Yes.

It's not the worst.

God First

I left work right at noon, because I had things to do.  (This whole week is a busy one!) Anyways, I grocery shopped like a boss (meaning I was in and out), ate lunch, and had my dessert in the oven for my relief society activity within an hour. Then I heard a knock. She came to visit unexpectedly and asked how I was doing. I turned around and looked at my messy kitchen. Garbage can overflowing, dishes in the sink, flour all over the counters...yikes! I asked her to pull up a chair while I got to cleaning up. We chatted and by the time we were done, it was nearly 5:00.

Where had the time gone? There were so many things on my to-do list and I only had two hours to cram in five hours of work. (#firstworldproblems) So I went about getting things done and then it was time to stop by to pick up my friend for the activity. Again, where did the time go? I wasn't feeling it. I wanted to drop off my dessert and quickly excuse myself.

All those worries were quickly diminished as I sat at the sticky picnic table admiring the beautiful, strong sisters I was surrounded by. I didn't care that I didn't even get half of my to-do list done. I cared more about the women in my ward. This feeling of love came over me and I knew it was God telling me that His daughters are so very loved. I could see how brightly they radiated the light of Christ. We're all different, but we all laughed and enjoyed each others company. And gosh, I haven't belly laughed that hard in sooooooooo long! It was very cathartic!

Today didn't go as I had originally planned. But I promised God that I would put Him first. So if talking with a friend for a few hours is what He wants, then I'm ready. The to-do list will never be as important as God's will for me. I needed today. I needed humility. I needed friends. I needed laughter. (I needed those ice cream sandwiches at Macey's for $1.49/box. I resisted, but you know I haven't stopped thinking about them.) Anyways, God first. Even when you're busy.

It's not the worst.

Let me slip into something UNcomfortable

I'm currently sitting in my apartment hallway, because it is hot in my room. I fixed the A/C like a Queen and am now waiting for my apartment to cool down to a nice 70 degrees.

I started a business with It Works Global, because the way God speaks to me is by telling me something months in advanced and letting me think about it until I'm ready to do what He asks. This was an answer to my prayers and something that would help me reach my financial goals and also to motivate me to treat my body better. Two women who had followed me on Instagram were part of this company. I've been watching their business grow. One is a married  BYU student and the other is a retired, 20-something year old with a family. Both were kind, motivating, and incredibly successful. The only part that scared me about this business was putting myself out there and selling. I am not a sales person. I don't do that. So after much prodding, I took the plunge.

And I became stagnant. Anxiety and fear really hit me. But I knew that if I followed everything that Christy told me to do, I would be successful. But still. I was scared. Scared of failure. Scared of rejection. Scared! So I got the kit and opened it, but then put the contents back into the box and it's sitting on my desk with some books and papers on top of it.

While paroozing my way on Instagram, a friend of mine posted these very words:

Nice, Heavenly Father. Way to put that out there. So I resisted again. Then this:

Yeah, but then I'm saving myself from feeling anxiety and uncomfortable. A few days later, I read these words that really hit me hard:

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." M. Scott Peck 

Okay, Okay, I'm listening. I realized that I was making things so complicated and I was overthinking everything! I just needed to simplify it and bring out the beauty in it. So I started up with my positive affirmations again:

I am a Daughter of God.

I am Beautiful.

I am doing hard things.

I am successful!

 God only will I serve.

I am attracting like minded people.

I am financially abundant.

I am making my dreams come true.

I radiate the Light of Christ.

I am making a difference in the world.

I felt my Spirit come alive once again. I promised God that I would try again and give it all I've got. I promised to always put Him first and then go to work. Even though this is very uncomfortable for me, I know that I have two choices. I can grow. Or I can be stagnant. We all know how I feel about the power of change, so I've re-committed myself to God, to myself, and to this company. I will bask in the uncomfortable-ness that comes and I will let it refine me. I can do hard things. I am successful.

Here's to new adventures. You can visit my Instagram @simplymarlisa for my lifestyle and "work" posts. I'll be sharing with you my journey and bringing the simplicity and beauty in the products, but how it is influencing both my life and those I get to work with. (I still have my regular Insta @missmarlirock so feel free to go there if you're not interested!)

Here we go, darlings! It's not the worst.

***If you're interested in any products or whatever, just DM, text, email, FB message me. We can embark on this journey together! You can be skeptical, but at the very least, you should just try it!***

Don't Commit to Failure

Don't commit to your mistake.

These five words have been ringing in my head the last couple days. I've felt like I've been screwing up left and right! And I get really bogged down about that. It's probably due to the "perfectionist" in me, but also, I just don't like making mistakes. I hate messing up. 

Don't commit to your mistake(s). Keep moving forward. Keep trying. You're not a failure, so don't commit yourself to that. 

It's not the worst.

Love YOUR Body

I spent a good chunk of time looking at myself in the mirror. Then I broke down in tears and put on the baggiest of clothes and laid there in a mess on the floor. He always talked about how Provo is obsessed with having a beach body. Then he made the assumption that I had a beach body. I told him no. He dismissed my response and asked when we'd hang out. 

Every thing about this conversation triggered the self-conscious part of me that hates my body. But why did I give him power to do that to me?

After an ugly cry, I came to my senses. I wiped away those tears and picked myself off the floor and began to recite my positive affirmations. 

I am a Daughter of God. I radiate the Light of Christ. I am beautiful. God created me. I love my body. I love my curves. I have a beautiful body, full of energy. God only will I serve. My body is working this very minute to do the Lord's will. I am beautiful!

I felt a power within myself come alive and my very frame was strengthened with so much conviction. When you recite truth,  you will feel your spirit confirm it. It's a beautiful experience and one that I will continue to do.

Love YOUR body! You were made by a God who loves you. He created you in His image. You are beautiful, no matter what anyone else thinks. Your body is beautiful just the way it is. And don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, because they're not worth your time. 

Can you imagine how God must feel when we express any kind of dissatisfaction with our bodies? He created you in HIS image. He wants us to love our bodies and treat them with respect. I'm trying to ingrain this in my mind by telling my body, "God only will you serve." This helps me keep me focused on the beauty and purpose of my life. 

Love your body, m'y friends. Your body is beautiful and divinely made.

Free-write: Late Night Thoughts (part 2)

It's night time and my corner of the world is quiet, so a free write if you will.

Everyone heals differently. I've been coming across many individuals who strike me with so much strength as they endure hard trials. Their way of healing intrigues me. Some turned to religion. Others turned to therapy. Some even put forth all their energy into making their dreams come true. All of these things are great. 

I've always believed that true healing comes through the atonement of Jesus Christ. And I still do. That's what works for me. But I've had this admiration for anyone who has healed by other means and have found so much joy. Good on you! Everyone is uniquely different and healing comes in different forms. Everyone deserves to be so deeply happy in this life! And when you truly find it, don't let go!

Love Letters #16

"I think it's interesting how the heart knows when something is wrong. I recently had a boy share his feelings with me and told me that he loved me. And as I sat there feeling my heart pound, I could not extend the same sentiment nor utter the very words. My heart knew it was not right. And even when my mind has been confused, my heart knew. I loved someone else. I was reminded of what love is. It's a lot of different things, but to me it's genuine kindness. It's caring deeply for someone and putting their needs above yours. It's keeping them in your thoughts and thinking of what you can do to serve, love, and support them. My heart knows. And I trust it. So for now, I'll keep those three words to myself until my heart lets me use them for you."

Last entry: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/12/love-letters-15.html

Mama Rock

I believe that she and I chose each other to help each other through this life. It seems that as each year passes, my love for her seems to grow in many different aspects. She faithfully fulfills her role as a wife, mother, and grandmother. I admire her capacity to truly love God and Jesus Christ. She is accepting and loving. She has changed through the atonement of Jesus Christ and has come to know Him on a level that I also hope to reach. Her desire to become like Christ shows as she radiates the light of Christ!

I always admired how much my dad loves her. Dad always says that when he had his accident, mom was the only reason he chose to stay here on earth. Mom takes good care of Dad and she loves him. She accepts him as he is and she does what she can to serve him. They've been together for 42 years and while their marriage has never been perfect, they have pushed through. They've loved each other through all seasons of life.

I love you, mom. Thank you for loving and accepting me. Thank you for continuing to emulate the light of Christ through your testimony and countless examples. You are the rock in my life and my best friend. I so dearly love you, mom! Happy Mother's Day!

Mother Eve

My admiration for Eve rushed in when I went through the Temple for the first time back in 2015. I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude on a deeper level for her. Growing up, I had an understanding that Eve was duped into partaking of the fruit. The word "beguiled" seemed to give off that idea.

"Dr. Nehama Aschenasy, a Hebrew scholar, said that in Hebrew the word which is translated as beguiled in the Bible does not mean "tricked" or " deceived" as we commonly think. Rather, the Hebrew word is a rare verb that indicates an intense multilevel experience evoking great emotional, psychological, and/or spiritual trauma. As Aschenasy explained, it is likely that Eve's intense, multilevel experience, this " beguiling" by the serpent was the catalyst that caused Eve to ponder and evaluate what her role in tbe Garden really was." (The Gift of Giving Life: Re-discovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth, pgs.2-3)

I believe that Eve pondered and understood with so much depth her role in God's plan of happiness. She is the Mother of All Living! She was foreordained to fill that role and she fulfilled it with grace!

"In his vision of the redemption of the dead, President Joseph F. Smith saw the prophets assembled in paradise: "Among the great and almighty ones who were assembled in this vast congregation of the righteous were Father Adam, ...and our glorious Mother Eve, with many of her faithful daughters who had lived through the ages."

 I loved her role as Adams wife. She loved him deeply and covenanted that she would stand by his side. She was a strength to him. I can only imagine how deeply Adam loved and trusted her as he also chose to partake of the fruit. Together they covenanted with God and through the storms of life, they prevailed. This beautiful, woman of God fulfilled God's will for her and I wish to emulate her example. I just love her!

Peanut Butter Smudges and a Smile

I've always admired Marjorie Pay Hinckley, wife of President Gordon B. Hinckley. While I've never met her personally, I always appreciated her optimism and wit. She never color coated anything, rather she gave beauty to reality.

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.” 

 She was a very sensible, but strong woman! I loved how President Hinckley would talk about her or the way he would look at her. You could just see and feel his love for her. They built a life together and faithfully served. She saw potential in President Hinckley and knew that he was going places. She stood by him as his equal and served along side him.

I've always admired wit and humor and this woman has it all! She would use humor as a source to lighten the mood during hard times.

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” 

 She had a deep love for people. She believed in unity and encouraged others to stick together. Whenever I served in Relief Society callings, I always felt inspired by her. She boldly declared that women need each other. I wholeheartedly agreed with that. We, sisters, can take our place in this world and deeply love those around us. We can support each other. We have those divine characteristics from our Heavenly Mother. Sister Hinckley is a prime example of a woman who used her heavenly characteristics to be a strong wife and mother. She did her part and she did it well!

Healed Through Faith

I love the story of the woman who deeply desired healing and had the faith in Christ that if she simply touched His robes, she would be healed. After 12 years of battling this pain, she was immediately healed. I want to hug her in the next life, because her faith changed me. She desired it with her whole heart and put her faith in Christ and she experienced a miracle. I love the words that Christ says to her.

Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace

I am constantly reminding myself of this Godly woman, because I want to strengthen my faith in Christ. I want to come so close to Him, that any doubt that I experience will be quickly diminished, because I know Him and trust Him. I am loving Him more and more. I am trying my best to exercise faith in His healing power and I am feeling it. My heart is changing. My thoughts are changing. I am thinking higher thoughts and I am feeling joy and love. I desire wholeness!

If my only calling in this life is to invite others to come unto Christ, then I wholeheartedly accept! I want everyone to know Him, because He is everything to me. He's not just my advocate to the Father, but He is my friend and older brother who deeply knows and loves me. He has walked my path and He knows how to help me in the way I need. I just love Him! He knows my heart. He knows that I am trying and that I desire to be like Him.

I just love Him.

Piece of MY Heart

I'm learning to give a little bit of my heart away. I'm focusing on the strengths of others and choosing to see their higher self. I'm complimenting others and letting them know how great they are and how loved they are. I don't hold back and I don't worry about my heart running out. I am whole and there is always enough love to be given out. It never runs out.

To you reading this, here's my message to you: YOU are divinely good. YOU  are strong and loved far beyond your comprehension. YOU are of divine worth, because YOU are a son/daughter of God. He deeply loves YOU and oh how I wish YOU could fully taste His love. He supports YOU and blesses YOU, because He loves you. I believe that God has a plan for only YOU. YOU can do hard things. YOU can change. YOU radiate the light of Christ, even when you may feel like you don't. I love YOU.

Divine Glow

There was a time when I did not feel worthy to enter His house. It felt like the light that I once had just didn't glow anymore. So I nurtured my spirit and focused on wholeness. The light within me began to glow more each day as I recited the mantra: I radiate the light of Christ!

I imagined this light surging through me and I began to truly believe that I radiated this light. In the midst of darkness, I radiated light. Much like this picture I took on Valentine's Day. I radiate the light of Christ! I exude this light in a world filled with darkness. It fulfills my soul and fills me with light and joy.

Eyes That See

Whether in passing or in conversation, I choose to look at you with eyes that see. I'll look at you with wholeness. Like Heavenly Father and Mother do. I'll admire your heavenly glow and the light that shines in your eyes. I'll remind myself over and over that you are a child of God.I'll pray for you and ask God to watch over you. I'll tell you I love you. Why? Because you are a whole, during all seasons of your life. I'll always choose to look at your higher self, because you are a child of God. You are divine. You are worthy of love and all that God has to offer. I choose to cheer you on, because you and I chose to come here for the same reason. I'll support you. You are whole through and through.