30 Days of Jesus Christ

In my attempt to strengthen my testimony on our Savior, Jesus Christ this Christmas season, I have decided to commit myself to 30 days focusing on Him. The next 30 days, I will be emulating His light through service and sharing my testimony along the way. And if you didn't know 30 days from now is Christmas, so it'll be a perfect ending. With today being day 1, I have chosen to  read The Book of Mormon. I couldn't think of a better beginning than, to start by reading another testament of Him.

My hope through doing this is that I will be able to share my light of Christ with those around me. And I believe an added bonus and one that I desperately needed, is a stronger foundation and testimony of Him. I love my Savior and am excited to share with you guys my journey. You can check out my Instagram page @missmarlirock for regular updates and I'll also be posting on here as well. 

Merry Christmas friends! 

Becoming (Part Eight)

I was thinking earlier today on my way to work about where I am in comparison to where I was at the beginning of the year. I knew my life would change and that I would have to embrace a new normal. There's never been a year where the Lord has stretched me to get out of my comfort zone more than this year. It's been hard. I was unsure of how my new job would be like back in April. I was unsure of why God wanted me at this specific job. To be honest, it was a step down for me in more ways than one. And I hated it. I kept looking for a new job, because I felt so uncomfortable. I felt like everyone was so smart! I didn't feel like myself.

So I had to make a choice. I knew the Lord would support me with whatever I chose. I chose to stay. I chose to stay for many reasons. I knew that I needed to become more comfortable with myself in uncomfortable settings. This job has caused me to become more comfortable with myself and who I am. And honestly, it's been hard. Like reeeeealllly hard. I think it's human nature to want to feel a connection with others and to fit in. I wanted that. I wanted to know everything that everyone talked about. Pokemon, pop culture, video games etc. Those things aren't me. I never really had an interest in them. I've had to pray for strength from the Lord for me to become more okay with who I am. I needed to accept myself with who I am.

I'm seeing myself differently. I'm more and more okay with who I am. I'm practicing confidence and speaking out. I honestly enjoy where I work. I love the people. I love the environment. I'm grateful that God brought me here. I'm learning and growing in ways that I need to progress.

God is so wise! He throws you in uncomfortable situations and if you're wise, you'll come out on top! I also know that without His help, I wouldn't have been able to make it through. I'm becoming in an area of my life that really needed help.

It's not the worst.

Read the last entry in this series: http://itsnottheworst.blogspot.com/2016/09/becoming-part-seven.html

Mind Over Body

When your phone dies while you are half a mile into your run, you are forced to either walk or become one with your body and push yourself. Choices. It's all in the choices. I can usually drown out my mind with loud beats, but not tonight. Tonight I could feel everything. The heaviness of my breathing. My heart pounding. My legs screaming at me.

Come on, girl. Mind over body. You just gotta push yourself a little further. Mind over body. 

I became very in tune with my body. I pushed myself a little further and little harder. I spoke words of strength and praised God for a body that moves.

It's not easy, but it's not the worst.

Love Letters #13

"I think one aspect of love that I've found to be so enveloping, is the fact that it's simple. I feel like the worlds idea of love is to be this fairy tale perfection blown out of proportion. I think there should be simplicity in love. It's meaningful. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It's finding simple ways to say and show your love for the other. It's letting them know that they matter to you. I don't know. I just like this idea of keeping love simple."

Free-write: Late Night Thoughts

It's nearly one o'clock in the morning and the dark silence carries on into the wee hours of the night. Here I sit tap-tap-tapping out this post letting the words flow as they may, A free-write if you will.

I'm grateful that it is now November. I love the closing of the year. I love the holidays, especially Thanksgiving. I love family time. I love the transition from fall to winter. I love preparing for and welcoming the new year.

I'm not where I thought I would be at the beginning of 2016, but I praise God for where I'm at now. I feel like I'm becoming more true to myself and tapping into my higher self. I'm seeing things in a different sense. I'm (slowly) embracing myself. I've had my share of bad days, but the good ones always outweigh the bad.

Lately, I've been saying out loud the words, "I forgive myself." I think it's about time I start forgiving myself. It's hard, but I force those three words out. There's power in being vocal. I've also found this when I read my scriptures out loud. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I feel something different, when I can hear myself voice my forgiveness or reading my scriptures.

I feel like I've taken all the compartments in my brain and dumped the contents out into a big pile. It's messy and there are so many bibs and bobs mixed in with the important things. I'm re-organizing everything. It's overwhelming. It requires lots of naps too. I'm recalling old memories that bring the sweetest joy or the deepest pain. I guess you could say, I'm re-wiring the way my brain functions.

With a new year, comes the unknown. What will accomplish next year? What trials will I face? Blah, blah, blah! I have a love/hate for the unknown. I don't want to think about it, but then I have to think about it, so I can come up with a game plan. Anxiety is too real for me. I like to be prepared for the absolute worst, so it doesn't come as a surprise.

Then there's the election. Don't get me started on that.

Late night thoughts are scattered. It's not the worst.