"I've been studying a lot about shame and a few months ago I jumped on the Brene Brown train. That took studying shame to a new level! It's been a very hard battle- fighting shame that is. I know that it's not an uncommon thing for people to feel shame. You don't necessarily have to do something that would be considered shameful. It can be felt in even the smallest ways. It's part of the human experience. I fear being vulnerable. I'm not an "open book" and I don't want you to think less of me if I share a very vulnerable part of me. I want to be loved and accepted. And it's so much easier for me to love and accept you, because it's inspiring and motivating. But when I turn inward, it's the complete opposite. I don't feel like I deserve to be loved and accepted, even though that's desperately what I want. So I'm studying shame, so that I can work through the personal shame I feel. I want to have the courage to be able to give myself fully to you. I want to be able to open up to you and still be able to keep my head up. I want to be able to connect with you, but I can't if I am guarded by shame. I admit it hasn't been an easy road. It's hard for me to own my story. It takes baby steps. It takes forgiveness. It takes lots of tear-filled prayers. It takes turning to God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. It takes courage. It's hard. But you're worth it!"
Check out the last sappy love letter by clicking riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight here.
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